Ramblings and Electronica

The Story of Benjamin the Shepherd Boy.

2011-12-25T00:09:00.002+03:30

Here is the story I wrote for our very first crib service today. Please feel free to use it if you wish.

Ever since Benjamin was little, he always wondered what God looked like. People told him a lot of things about God. That he was powerful, that he made the world and all the beautiful things in the world. That he saved the Jewish people from slavery. Yes, but what did he look like. Benji asked his dad, Moshy.
“Dad. What does God look like?”
“I don’t know young Benji. No-one has seen God, and we’re not allowed to make pictures of him. Why do you keep asking?”
“Because I really really want to know.”
“Well why don’t you go and see Abraham the rabbi.”
So young Ben went to see him. Abraham was very wise, he taught all the small Jewish children stories from the bible. He was kind and smiley, and he had a very long white beard that went all the way down his chest.
“Rabbi. What does God look like? I want to see him.”
Abraham laughed. “Little Benji . You can’t see God. He is too big. Too amazing, too wonderful for us. We wouldn’t be able to cope with the brightness of his face, just like you can’t stare at the sun without hurting your eyes. God is even brighter than that. Even the holy prophet Moses only got to see God’s back, and afterwards his face shone so brightly that it gave everyone a headache and he had to wear a veil.”
Benjamin went home sadly. He had really hoped that the rabbi would be able to help him.
Many months passed. And still Benji wondered. Sometimes he looked up at the sky and tried to stare very hard past the stars. Maybe he would see God peeping around the corner of the star curtain of the sky, peeping from Heaven. But he never saw anything.

Until one night. Something amazing happened.
Benji was helping his father and his brothers mind the sheep on the hillside. It was a very cold night. They had wrapped up warm in fur jackets and they had lit a fire to keep their toes warm. Then suddenly a big white shiny person appeared. It was so scary at first that Benji hid behind a really fat sheep with fuzzy hair.
The shiny person was an angel - and the angel had a message.
“Don’t be afraid shepherds.
You can come out from behind that sheep Benji! I’ve got some really happy news to tell you. A baby has been born in Bethlehem. He’s the Christ who will make our sad world happy again. Look for the one wrapped in cloth in an animal’s feeding trough.”
Benji felt braver. In the sky he could hear beautiful singing. It was so beautiful that he came out, and while the others were listening to the song, he went right up to the angel.
“What’s your name?”  Gabriel, the angel said.
“Have you ever seen God?’
“Oh yes. It was God who sent me here.”
“Then what does God look like?”
“I can’t tell you that. Its something you have to discover for yourself.”
And then the angel disappeared.
And the sky was very quiet once more.

Benji was sad that the angel hadn’t told him what God looked like. But he figured that if the angel was so bright and big and beautiful. Then God must be even bigger and brighter and more beautiful still.

And so the shepherds walked down the hill into Bethlehem, looking for a particular stable. In the end it was very easy to find, because a very bright star was shining in the sky, lighting up the way. There was a beautiful lady, looking very tired, and a man and a donkey and a cow. And a baby lying in a feeding trough, just as the angel had said. Benji bent over and looked closely at the baby. It was very very tiny. He looked deep into the baby’s eyes and as he looked the baby reached out a tiny little hand, grabbed his little finger and gave it a squeeze.

Then Benji heard a voice whispering in his ear. It was Gabriel, the angel. He had shrunk himself very small and was standing on his shoulder. “Look Benji. That’s what God looks like? Benji whispererd back. “I don’t understand. This is a baby. He’s so little that he can’t even sit up yet”

“Yes but he’s the Son of God. He’s the one who will grow up and say ‘If you have seen me, you have seen God our father’ Look again!”

And so Benji looked again, and deep inside the baby’s eyes he saw such love. The baby loved him so much that a little tear leaked out of the corner of his tiny eye. He loved him so very very much that he would do anything for him. Anything to make his world better, even if that thing was going to hurt him and make him sad.

And then Benji understood. In the little baby,Jesus, he had seen the face of God. And what did God look like? God looked like someone who loved him very very much.

Video Stock Footage Libraries.

2011-11-04T13:25:00.004+03:30

I've just signed up for a free trial at videoblocks. I'm pretty impressed so far and on the free trial you can download 20 pieces of video a day. There are some really nice worship friendly ones in there too. Worth checking out and you can view the clips without buying them.

The other footage library I've been using lately has been showfootage. I got a voucher for some free videos from them when I bought the latest version of Arkaos. Per clip these are quite dear though at $11.99 for a single sale, but if you scout round and like them enough, you can get 75 clips for $1.49 each ($111.75,which at the time of writing translates as £70 which isn't too bad for a whole library load of stuff). Again you can view the clips before you decide whether its worthwhile or not.

A new Transfiguration Hymn

2011-07-27T20:25:00.003+04:30

I'm going to sing this to Paul's stunning 'O little Town of Bethlehem" remix, but it should fit any 8686.
The usual rules apply. Feel free to use and tweak if necessary in a worship situation.

Transfigured Christ. Your presence here
Makes faith and sight combine.
Through incandescent clouds of white
God’s blazing Son, You shine.
Now to our feeble human minds
You’re veiled but not concealed
We see in You the Father’s face
The heart of God revealed.

We partly know, and dimly see,
As through a mirror’s gaze.
And yet Your words can make a world
And set our lives ablaze.
Our hearts are tinder dry and cold
We walk through sorrow’s night
And yet within our darkest hours
You say “let there be light”.

Transfigured Christ. We cannot stay
Upon the mountain peak
When evil screams and claws the earth
You call us “Go and speak.”
Come plant your footsteps in our world
And help us follow too.
To offer healing in Your name. To all who cry for You.

Sue Wallace 2011
(inspired by John G Whittier’s
“O love O life”)

Angel Beach (The Second Wave)

2010-12-02T15:09:00.002+03:30

I accidentally stumbled across this on itunes today. There are some really good tracks and I think you might recognise some of them (an ambient remix of Clocks for instance, or Bittersweet Symphony). I didn't buy the whole album though as I thought some of them were either a bit too cheesy or a bit too intrusive, but well worth checking out to see which ones you like.

Enjoy!

Sue

The Slow Wait

2010-05-19T12:45:00.004+04:30

From time to time I watch CSI (all 3 of them), despite the fact that they are often a bit gory and depressing. Usually I half watch them, and am doing something on the laptop at the same time (thus missing the gore and keeping the storyline :-) But anyway, that's beside the point. The point is, while they are in the lab doing tests on something or other, they play some brilliant pieces of music. Last night was one of those occasions. And so I quickly looked on one of those sites that lists the pieces of music played, and discovered that the very nice piece of ambient music they were playing was called "The Slow Wait, Pt 1 by The American Dollar, from the album A memory stream. Its one of those still, blissful pieces that you could chant over, or just enjoy for its own sake.

While I'm at it, another artist I discovered recently (I think it was via itunes genius application) was M83. I particularly like "my own strange path", "Strong and Wasted" and "Sister, pt 1" but i haven't reall got around to listening to any of the other tracks yet.

Stop press: I've just been listening to a few other tracks by The American Dollar, and they are definitely worth checking out. So far I've also bought War on Christmas, Call, Anything you Synthesize, Signalling through the flames and DEA, and while I was at it I was recommeded "Dust Breeding" by Stars of the Lid (a 9 minute very ambient piece) and A City Lost by My Majestic Star.

Fragrance

2010-03-19T17:22:00.005+03:30

You're probably really going to hate this idea, but I'm going to mention it anyway!

I was after a song about perfume, (as the gospel reading is about the woman anointing Jesus with perfume) and I really couldn't find one, which was annoying me a bit. Then reluctantly I wondered if there was anything at all I could do with "may the fragrance of Jesus fill this place". So I stuck it on top of "A letter from home" by Ulrich Schnauss and realised that it fitted beautifully and the reharmonisation stripped out the slightly twee feeling that the song had before for me. We are however, NOT having the men singing the first line and the women following meekly after, because that implies that women can't be worship leaders, which is extra bad in this particular context, because there is Mary of Bethany cheerfully pointing the way forward for the whole church in worship with the aid of a perfume bottle. Instead it will be LHS and RHS.

Wedding Songs - a challenge.

2009-12-16T00:50:00.005+03:30

Last year the curates in our diocese were chatting about weddings and how difficult people find it to pick songs that their guests will know. They were commenting that it seems to get harder each year, as the repertoire of common songs suitable for singing in a service gets smaller and smaller. Then someone mentioned carols. At least people still know carols. "Someone should write some lyrics to carol tunes" they said. As I'm one to rise to such a challenge I thought "Must get around to doing just that!" Recently I was reminded of this conversation, because a friend was getting married, was trying to choose some songs and was giggling at some of the choices that were suggested to them. This (and the fact that we are surrounded by carols at the moment) spurred me into action.

Please feel free to copy, distribute and use in a worship situation....

To the tune of "Once in Royal David's city"
-------------------------------

This song is based on St Paul's famous letter about love, (1 Corinthians chapter 13)

It can be sung to the tune of once in royal.

If I speak in tongues of angels
Yes possess a loveless heart
I am like a crashing cymbal
Hollow words of abstract art.
Holy Spirit, fill our lives
With the love that unifies.

love is patient, full of kindness,
Lacking rudeness,envy, pride.
Love does not keep score of insults
Slow to anger, truth applied.
Holy Spirit, fill our lives
With the love that unifies.

Prophesy will have its ending
Gifts of languages will cease
Knowledge passes when the print fades
Faith, hope, love, will be released.
Holy Spirit, fill our lives.
With the love that unifies.

As a child my reasoning was childish,
Now my toys are packed away.
Now we see a poor reflection.
Then we shall see face to face.
Holy Spirit, fill our lives
With the love that unifies.

Undisclosed Desires

2009-11-26T19:01:00.003+03:30

This is a fascinating song. I think I might be able to use it as an introduction to a time of prayer for ourselves and our past, or as part of a service on the theme of healing. Its by Muse. Here is a snapshot of some of the lyrics.

I know you've suffered but I don't want you to hide...
I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart.

Psalm 26

2009-10-06T00:01:00.004+03:30

OK I've given this psalm the same treatment so that it scans (all apart from one world, altar, which I really really wanted to keep in!). We sang this one over the top of the original mix of sunstroke by Chicane.

Clear me in court O my God,
For I make justice my path.

For I have trusted in God
I haven’t flagged in my trust

Test me my God, test and try me,
Probe through my heart and my mind.

For your love is ever with me,
Guiding me into your truth.

I do not sit with deceivers,
Nor make plans with hypocrites.

I hate it when bad types gather
And don’t sit with wicked fools.

Innocently I wash my hands
So will I go round your altar.

Crying aloud all Your praises,
Proclaiming Your wondrous deeds.

I love the house where You live Lord,
The place where Your glory shines.

Don’t sweep me off with the sinners,
My life with the violent ones.

Whose hands are wickedly scheming
Whose right hands are full of bribes

Me, I will walk with the blameless
Save me, have mercy on me.

My feet stand on level ground,
In the crowds I’ll bless the Lord.

Glory be to God the Father,
 Glory be to God the Son,

Glory be to God the Spirit,
While all eternity runs.

A Multi-Sensory Poem

2009-10-05T23:47:00.003+03:30

A while back I did a day at St Bede's centre, which does quiet days and all sorts of cool Christian spirituality stuff. Anyway a while after the session Ann Pugh wrote a poem about it. No-one has ever written a poem about anything I did before, so I asked her if I could put it up here as I think its rather wonderful.

So here it is...

quiet waiting, slowly breathing,
Listening, hearing, mind unbound.
Musical notes and melodies weaving
Necklaced beads of coloured sound.

Hands enfolding, holding, feeling.
Throwing, giving and receiving,
Writing and drawing signs in lines,
Or washing and healing of painful wounds.

Rhythmic instrumental playing,
Joy in stories, learning songs,.
Colourful images reminding
To share and care in hopeful prayer
Along with others where all belong.

Touch of stones with different textures,
Sculpted rough, eroded smooth,
Rolled by rivers, seas and oceans
Could build paths or walls secure.

Candles lit on water floating,
Shimmer, rupple, relfect the light/
Creating movement, then a stillness
For wonder, thankfulness and delight.

Ann Pugh - inspired by a Sue Wallace workshop.

Psalm 119 words

2009-09-03T16:36:00.004+04:30

As I've probably mentioned more than once, I'm quite into singing psalms over groovy dance tracks at the moment. (current favourites being Cosmotherapy by Dream Lab, Smokebelch by Sabres of Paradise, and a number of things by Coldplay (OK they dont' really count as dance, but they do have repeating riffs which are rather trance-like).

Anyway so the punters don't get too confused at having to squeeze the words into the tune, here is a simplified version of Psalm 119 (verses 153-160, and verses 169-176).

You may ask "why on earth would you bother singing psalms these days? Isn't that really un-cool?".
Well, the thing is, you sing em and you remember them, and then the words come back when you're stuck in a hole and you really really need them!

Anyway here it is....

Psa 119 v153-160, 169-176

Think of my problems and save me.
For I remember your law

Argue my case and redeem me
As you have promised give life.

Heaven is far from the wicked
For they do not seek your law

For your compassion is great Lord.
Scan me and give me Your life.

Many are there that oppress me
Yet I don't swerve from Your words.

When I see traitors it grieves me
For they do not keep your word

Lord how I love Your commandments
Love me and give me Your life

Your words all add up to truth Lord
Your judgements last ever more.

Let my cry come before you Lord,
Help me understand Your words

Let the cries of my heart reach You
Save me as you promised me

My lips they will pour out Your praises.
When you have taught me Your laws.

My tongue it will sing of your word,
All your commandments are right.

Let your hand reach out to help me.
For I have chosen your laws.

I have longed for Your salvation
And your law is my delight

Let me soul live, it shall praise You.
Your judgements will be my help

I went astray like a lost sheep.
Look for me, I won't forget.

Glory be to God the Father
Glory be to God the Son.
Glory be to God the Spirit
While all eternity runs. (X3)

The Work of the people.

2009-07-29T19:02:00.003+04:30

Until the 10th August 2009 "The Work of the People"( who do some really nice Lectionary related videos) are having footage of driving and clouds available to download for free. It might be a good opportunity to check out some of their other footage too while you are at it (you can view everything before you buy!) Click here to get the file.

Bouquet

2009-07-17T13:26:00.003+04:30

I heard about this idea the other day while in the church office and i thought it was really nice. At a wedding, instead of the bride having a bouquet that has been made earlier, single flowers are given to people in the congregation, and as she walks up the aisle the bride picks them up until she has a whole bouquet. Nice! I like the level of interaction in the idea and the fact that (potentially) everyone has something to give to the ceremony. (although in practice, unless the congregation were a small one, you'd probably have to pick significant people. (Maybe those that had travelled the furthest?).

Inspiration and Psalm 30

2009-06-27T14:09:00.002+04:30

At the last service planning meeting I was delegated to go find a nice dance track to chant psalm 30 on top of. We've been playing around with chanting psalms over funky tracks lately. It seems to work really well, as long as you use a really simple chant (we're not talking Anglican chant here!) and a really nice backing track. I was very excited to realise that not only did psalm 30 work with the Paradise remix of Ian Van Dahl's Inspiration but also that the words to inspiration itself fit the theme of the service, which is Jairus' daughter (its available on itunes and you can listen to it on Spotify but over there it seems to be mislabelled as the Peter Luts remix...which it aint!)

So here is our version of psalm 30. Tune-wise, you come in when the bass line starts, and start singing on an A, then when you get to the capital words sing them on the next note up (a B), then for the 2nd line of the psalm sing that on the E (5 notes below) go up to an F sharp for the bold word on the 2nd line and then back to the E for the end of that line. Its quite hard to explain but actually just do it, if it sounds nice then who cares if its not the way I do it! The rhythm is the rhythm of the words itself.Sing it as you would say it!

Anyway here we go (as you can see we stopped for a while in the middle when the tune came in and then came back with more of the psalm later).

Psalm 30

I will lift You UP O GOD
Because you have raised ME up

And have not let ALL OF MY ENEMIES
Triumph oVER me.

You brought me BACK FROM THE DEAD
Back to life from the deep DARK pit

Sing to God You SERVANTS OF HIS
Give thanks to His hoLY name.

For his anger is GONE IN AN INSTANT
His favour lasts A lifetime

Weeping may enDURE FOR THE NIGHT
But joy comes in THE morning.

***When your dreams are lost and blown away
And you need someone to make your day

If there comes a time when hope is gone
and you need some help to carry on.
I'll be your inspiration.
I'll be your inspiration.
I'll be your inspiration.
I'll be your inspiration.***

When I felt seCURE I SAID
I shall never BE moved

You Lord in Your GOODNESS AND FAVOUR
Have made me strong like A mountain

Then when You hid your FACE FROM ME
I was utterly DISmayed

To You, O LORD DID I CALL
I cried out to God FOR mercy.

What profit is THERE IN MY DEATH
If I go down to THE pit.

Will the dead dust be PRAISING YOU.
Will it tell of Your faithFULness

***When your dreams are lost and gone away
And you need someone to make your day
Here there comes a time when hope is gone
And you need some help to carry on
I'll be your inspiration.
I'll be your inspiration.
I'll be your inspiration. ***

Hear me God have MERCY ON ME
Oh Lord be MY helper.

You have turned my MOURNING TO DANCING
My sackcloth to clothes OF joy.

Therefore my heart will NEVER STOP SINGING
I'll give You thanks FOR ever.

Therefore my heart will NEVER STOP SINGING
I'll give You thanks FOR ever.

***When you look into my eyes
You can see there's no disguise
Don't be afraid to need someone
You don't have to be alone.
Don't be afraid to need someone
You don't have to be alone. ***

Glory to the Father AND TO THE SON
And glory to THE Spirit.

As it was in the begINNING IS NOW
And shall be for ever. AAmen.

A Magnetic World Map!

2009-05-27T21:17:00.005+04:30

I couldn't resist buying a new prayer-prop today. Its a magnetic memo board, made of white metal with a world map printed on it. It comes with 6 little arrows made of metal. i thought it would be great to combine it with some of those poetry fridge magnets, especially ones saying things like "peace, love, food" etc then people could place little fridge magnet words or phrases to pray for different areas of the world as they look at the map. It cost 30 pounds and looking on the web today it looks like that was quite a good price for it. My only complaint is I don't seem to be able to locate Gaza or the West Bank on there. But then it is
quite a small map. (39X59cm) and there are quite a lot of countries to fit in!

Embers

2009-03-30T21:02:00.002+04:30

I must admit I'm pretty impressed by the the song Embers by Just Jack at the mo. It seems to me to make a pretty good confession intro. "our petty decisions...blow away like dust...through all the devilish things we do" . The song is also a pretty good reminder that we are not alone but connected to each other and so our wrong decisions and actions affect other people and the world around for "we are all embers from the same fire'. Check it out! (oh and the tune is quite good too :-)

Brilliant Intercessions footage

2009-03-17T12:55:00.003+03:30

I've just discovered "your chance to live: Earthwatch 1972" whilst having a good scout around the Prelinger archive. Its got some brilliant footage for intercessions etc. (tsunamis, earthquakes, forest fires etc) and is public domain. Needs a good edit tho before actually using in a service! The really good stuff starts at least halfway through so be patient.
http://www.archive.org/details/YourChan1972

Stabilising shaky video

2009-02-14T13:28:00.003+03:30

All my life I've wanted to be able to use shaky video! (well maybe not all my life...but there have certainly been times when I've kicked myself at the shakiness of a piece of footage because the content has been so good but it has been unusable). Well now I'm off to the "shop" to buy the latest version of imovie because they now have a stabilisation tool that fixes all that! (yay!). In the past I have found imovie to be rather annoying to use, but I'm willing to put up with that if it'll make my shaky video usable again. Deep joy! Lets just hope it does what it says it does on the packet because the preview on the apple site is pretty impressive!

More Jon Hopkins

2009-02-01T19:42:00.002+03:30

I've just bought the new Jon Hopkins album, which came out (I think) at the end of last year. Its called "insides" and there are a number of blissful ambient background tracks on there. The best of the bunch is "light through the veins" which you will probably recognise because Coldplay sample it. The worst of the bunch is "insides" which is one of those "death by cheesegrater" tracks. If you're downloading the album as separate tracks I'd give that one a miss! The last section of "Vessel" also ends up being cheesegrater-ish, which is a shame because the first half of the track is very beautiful. Anyway my advice is check it out, but listen to the tracks before you buy, as you might not want to buy all of them.

LEDs

2009-01-20T00:45:00.004+03:30

At the Fresh Expressions pilgrimage day in Coventry Carl brought some blue LED lights and wrapped them around the altar, under layers of netting. They looked brilliant, but I must admit I thought the 60 pound price tag was a little steep, even if you did get 480 lights for that price. I did make a mental note to check out the sales and see if they had gone down in price tho!

I was a little late getting to the sales though. I only made it into the shops last week, but actually I was glad I'd left it so late, as the lights I wanted had been reduced to 30, then 20, then 10. So if you're around B and Q it might be worth seeing if there are any left. Changing the lighting is such an easy way to make a space new and wonderful. Some of my best buys were the LED par cans I bought (which were around 40 pounds each). They look great when pointed at twiddly stonework and just add so much atmosphere (and can be plugged in in a couple of seconds).

Hello Waveforms (and Bono)

2008-12-26T16:52:00.004+03:30

I bought some more William Orbit today, via a kind of roundabout route.

While everyone else is arguing about whether they like Alexandra Burke, Jeff Buckley or Cohen's orginal Hallelujah's I accidentally stumbled across Bono's version (which I discovered because some journalist was slagging it off somewhere!) While he slagged it off, he posted the link to the Youtube file and I decided I liked it better than all the others (so there!).

The reason I like it is that it isn't trying to be a cover, its trying to do something different with it, to pay homage to the original rather than blindly copy it. Anyway I couldn't find it on the itunes store, and so had to get it on Amazon (on an album called "Tower of Song" which has some other tributes which may also be interesting). And because I could get free delivery if I also bought some other music, I decided to check out Hello Waveforms by Willliam Orbit. You can hear the preview on Williamorbit.com, and its very lovely. He has returned to an updated version of his Strange Cargo style, and there are loads of tracks that I'd be very happy to use to back prayers and things. Its just lovely blissful chillout (although there are lyrics on some of the tracks so you can't use them all). I was surprised to hear him use Autotune on his vocalist's voice though. I thought he'd be averse to that sort of thing! Anyway check out "Hello Waveforms", you might like it!

Morphing Jesus

2008-12-10T01:51:00.002+03:30

So many people recently have commented on how powerful they have found the morphing images of Christ. Here is the link to Jonny Baker's blog posting about it.

Here is the file itself

Jeff Cardoni

2008-12-10T01:43:00.003+03:30

I've just been watching CSI Miami and I was struck by the music that they were playing as Alex leaves. Sometimes a track sticks out as being something special and it made my ears prick up. So I did a bit of searching around and discovered that the track was specially written by Jeff Cardoni, who has written quite a bit of music for CSI and other series. He has his own website (Jeffcardoni.com) and you can hear the piece "Farewell to Alex" on there. But he also has quite a few pieces available on the itunes store too.

Enjoy!

Sue

Moses Story.

2008-08-30T16:06:00.002+04:30

This story is based on the old testament reading for this Sunday. Hopefully it speaks for itself....

Moses story.

I was a refugee really, and it was my own fault. Once upon a time I had had it all. I was adopted by the Pharaoh's daughter and lived in a palace, but my hot temper got me into trouble. I saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew slave, and knowing that they were my own people, anger flared inside me, so I killed the bully, but of course you cannot hide crimes like that easily. They catch up with you, and so it was with me.

The Pharaoh tried to kill me, and suddenly I had to run for my life. I didn't really think or plan, I just ran off to the land of Midian. But, thankfully the people in Midian were kind to me, took me in, and let me live as one of their own. A priest there let me marry one of his daughters, and I made a new life for myself. I even forgot I'd ever lived as an Egyptian, and yet, that time I spent in that land, and the language of my youth, those years I thought were wasted, were to come in very useful later, but I didn't know that then.

So then I became a shepherd. I didn't have sheep of my own, I wasn't that rich, but I tended the flock of my father in Law Jethro the Midian Priest. He was a kind man, who looked after us well, but sometimes i did wonder if he only did this because of his daughter,. still, no matter, we were fed and housed and felt useful. Some people would say it was a bit of a come down, being reduced to overseeing sheep after being in the civil service, but I didn't care. The atmosphere was less opressive and I saw much less cruelty with only the occasional lion or bear to chase away.

But then came my big life changing event....The event which was so incredible that I know some people's eyebrows will shoot up when I tell it. For there I was, looking after the sheep, and frankly i was a little bored, because sheep don't really do much, apart from eat and walk around and go baa. I thought for a second I'd been daydreaming, so I pinched myself, but, no, that was not the case, I was really seeing what I was seeing.

It was a bush." So what" you may reply," there are plenty of bushes in the desert", maybe so, but this bush was on fire. Yes you might reply, well the hot sun can scorch bushes sometimes and they can combust if the atmosphere is dry.
OK, well in that case why are the leaves of this bush green and vibrant? In fact the bush seemed to be doing rather well even though it was on fire. I was truly very puzzled. It was a bizarre sort of phenomenon, but maybe if I went closer there would be a more obvious explanation as to why this was so.

So I walked closer, and then I heard the VOICE. It called me by name. The BUSH called me by name. Not just "Oy you, shepherd blokey" but "Moses" How could a bush possibly know my name? So I said , somewhat shakily "here I am" I didn't know what else to say really. I was here, I was scared but I hadn't run away...yet. And I was playing for time to see what the voice said next. And then the voice said "Come no closer. And take off your sandals, you are standing on holy ground."

So I did what the bush told me, and took off my sandals, and yes I could feel the holiness of that earth tingling beneath my feet as I stared at the bush, gently shaking and wondering who it was that was talking to me. It must be someone important. An angel perhaps.

And as the voice identified itself, I hid my head with shame and wonder, for it was GOD. THE God, the one TRUE God. THe God of our fathers Abraham, and Isaac and Jacob. Not any old wooden pretend God such as the ones the locals worshipped. Nope the real deal. And I was afraid to see his face for I might die of shock. Part of me felt like I should kneel or something, but I was rooted to the spot, so I just listened as the voice told me more.

"I have seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out becase of their slave drivers and I am concerned about their suffering."

And I felt moved. Because all that time when the Israelites had been saying. Where is God, doesn't He know we are suffering, doesn't he care? It turned out, that all that long lonely time, he had been listening, and He did care, and he was concerned, was hatching rescue plans, and now and he was going to put them into action, to do something about it! I was thrilled to see what He was going to come up with. What stunningly huge armies he was going to send to beat up the baddies and rescue the innocent.

The voice promised that he would take the people to a land flowing with milk and honey, a land populated by many other tribes. But then came the scariest bit of this conversation. The voice told me to go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites back.
erm ME. not an army of angels, not a human army or even a super human giant. Nope. Just me. One person verses the ruler of an empire. And then I really felt shaky.

For who Am I? I'm just one sad skint refugee. And so I asked that question. Who am I that I should be given this enormous task? Nobody special that's sure.
But God replied. "I will be with you. And as a sign I promise you will come and worship me on this mountain when its all over."
So I was not alone, but at that moment I certainly felt a little alone, for the company of this great and mighty being, was so awesome and amazing. yet I tried to reassure myself. For God actually said that this huge task was something that HE was going to do,not something that I was going to do. And so maybe I should just try to do what He said and not get in the way, not keep my sandals on and ruin his plans, but take them off and listen to His guiding voice.

But even so, I couldn't resist asking this deity its name. Me, moses, asking the creator of the universe what I should call him. I was a bit scared even phrasing the question, so I sort of did it cunningly. I created a scenario where the Israelites asked me what they should call God and asked God in a second hand sort of way. I thought he might be less angry about the rudeness then, for if you know someone's name, you have power over them. You call it out, and they will turn round!

But God was not angry. But then nor did he give a direct answer. He gave more of a description than a real name. He said "I am who I am", but he said so in the Hebrew language, which has no tenses, so he also said, I will be who I will be, and I was who I was. He just is, he just was, he just will be. A kind of constant rock in an ever changing world. And a God who reaches into our future as well as our past, who knows what's coming, and has it all planned already, like a reassuring peek at the last page of a novel that is only half read.

And then he said that this is his name forever and his title for all generations. So there it was, I had the most daunting task I had ever been given, one that seemed impossible. For surely I would be arrested and hanged as soon as I set foot in Egypt. But, I also had this promise, from none other than the Creator of the Universe, that I would get out of Egypt alive a promise given by someone who had been with me in that future, who was going to be with me in that future, and who KNEW that it would be so.

Transfiguration Hymn.

2008-07-31T23:39:00.002+04:30

Ok so it looks suspiciously like my Epiphany Hymn, but I tweaked it for the feast of the Transfiguration. Feel free to use if you wish. (the tune is "I vow to thee my country").

O Christ, You came from Heaven to Earth,
Infinity made small
Revealing Heaven's surprising plans,
You show God's face to all.
We offer You our gold,
That is we crown You as our king.
The incense of our worship, A fragrant offering.
And with myrrh we'll touch the wounded ones
With precious healing balm
Be your eyes and ears and healing hands
To comfort those who mourn.

We have looked for love and seen its face,
Within a loveless world,
And to those who hope for happiness
Your glory is revealed
For we saw Your face while searching,
And Your love grew in our lives
And we know tranfiguration
As clarity arrives.
Even now You guide the travellers,
Through dangerous dark lands.
Till the day we reach our Heavenly home
Held safe within Your hands

Christ You dived into our water
and you made our water pure
And You lived within our tangled lives
and made them so much more
For the hand of God has touched us,
Bringing Christ into this place
And there's hope for each culture,
Each nation, every race
For the Christ-Child grew
and showed us
The true face of the Divine
For we simply lived on water
Yet you turned it into wine.

Stones

2008-04-21T18:28:00.002+04:30

I was going to say "This was the mediation we did on Sunday". Actually this isn't quite true, as I forgot to bring the script with me, but thankfully remembered most of it off by heart. But anyway this was the meditation we almost did on Sunday, when the lectionary had a lot of readings about rocks in it!

You might like to hold your stone, while we say the following meditation.
It is based on lots of incidents where stones appear throughout the bible. The stones that built the temple, David killing Goliath, the stoning of Stephen, the Spriritual temple mentioned in the first letter of Peter, the many mansions that Jesus tells us are in God's house. The cairn that was built when the Isreallites crosses the Jordan while God held back the water, and the stones that Jesus said would cry out if the people stopped shouting Hosanna as he rode into Jerusalem.

What can you do with a stone?`

You can do many different things.
You can throw your stones at a dangerous person
Your definition of dangerous
being someone you disagree with.
you can beat them till they cry
"Lord Jesus recieve my spirit"
And they lay their head down and die.

You can build them into a house,
A temple house for God
Carve pomegranates and angels, to decorate the borders.
And know that God will come and visit
The structure you have made.

You can stretch up your head,
And admire the cornerstone at the top
The one that holds al the others together
And know that someone once rejected it,
But now it has the highest place.

You can launch your stone within a slingshot
And kill a warrior and giant
But save a persecuted people.
But your stone would then be bloody
Even though you saved some lives.

You can lead a spiritually hungry people
Through a dry and dusty desert.
And when their mouths are parched with thirst
Strike a stone with your old staff
And watch clean water gushing out.

You can build a cairn,
To remember a great miracle
Like holding back the jordan river
For travellers to cross

You can build a house with many stones
And know that there is room
For everyone within its walls.
But that there is just one way in,
One door that's open wide.

You could march seven times around stone walls
And watch them tumble down.
So prisoners can be released
And evil rulers sacked.

You can give it to your child,
When they ask you for some bread.
But you know deep down you wouldn't
Because you want them to eat well
And grow up beautiful and strong.

You can put your ear next to your stone.
And listen for its song.
Knowing that if we stopped our praises
It would cry hosanna to the king.

Your stone can kill, your stone can build,
Your stone might sing, or might gush water.
The choice is yours.
What do you most want
To do with your stone?

More ambience and electronica

2008-03-27T14:54:00.004+04:30

I quite often listen to "Groove Salad" internet radio when I've got writing to do. Malcolm does too, but lately he has got bored of the track listings (probably cos we use so many of them in services I suspect!) Anyway he has started listening to DI.com which is another internet radio station, which has some very nice ambient and electronica on it.

Anyway yesterday they were playing some reallly nice stuff my Mikael Fyrek, so, as usual I scribbled down the track name and did a websearch on it. Its always nice to find that the thing you were looking for is being given away for free by the artist.
Mikael Fyrek on Myspace.
The album - In riots of colour they spin
Enjoy!

Jesu Grant me this I Pray (the Good Friday mix).

2008-03-17T17:53:00.003+03:30

Once again, it occurs to me that posting some lyrics might come in handy for someone, sometime.
We've remixed Jesu Grant me this I pray a couple of times, but this version was designed for a Good Friday service.

Jesu grant me this I pray.
Ever in Your heart to stay
Let me evermore abide
Hidden in your wounded side
Hidden in your wounded side

In Your tortured agony
You bring us eternity
Crushing evil, hate and pride
Showing us Your wounded side.
Showing us Your wounded side.

Crucified on Calvary’s hill
Let me love You deeper still.
Bring me home, yes be my guide.
To Your heart and wounded side.
To Your heart and wounded side.

Longing for Your paradise
Coming when the timing’s right
Sweet surroundings You provide
In Your heart and wounded side.
In Your heart and wounded side.

O sacred head (Sues words)

2008-03-16T18:29:00.005+03:30

Yonks back I remixed O sacred head.
It occurs to me that this week is a good time to repost the lyrics. So here we are.
It starts fairly standard and then in verse 2 goes a bit different....
Free free to swipe.

And click on the link if you want to hear my version.
(its down at the bottom of the page once you get there so you'll have to scroll for a bit)

O sacred head surrounded
by crown of piercing thorns
O royal head so wounded
The object of our scorn
Deaths shadows rise before you
The glow of life decays
Yet angel choirs adore you
And tremble as they gaze

You saw our human sorrows
Abuse and pain and war,
And all our deadliest horrors
The hate lodged at our core.
I bow to You our mender,
For healing our disgrace.
For loving us like no other
To save the human race.

Your beauty, health and vigour
Are crushed, Your strength is gone
And in your tortured figure
I see death coming on,
In agony and dying
You bled to make us free
We long for transformation
Christ turn your face to me

What language shall I borrow
To thank you dearest friend
For all your tortured sorrow
Compassion without end!
Christ make me yours forever
And when at last I die
Embrace me then and show me
Yourself, Your love, Your life.

Liturgical Recipes

2008-03-14T22:47:00.003+03:30

I was trying to write a talk for Palm Sunday today, and while researching a completely un-related piece of information, I discovered liturgical recipes! Apparently the thing to eat this Sunday is porrdige made of peas....and have some figs for dessert.
So now ya know!
Catholic Culture recipe site.
Some of the recipes look intriguing though.

II had curry tonight. Which probably wasn't liturgical at all (apart from being vegan which curries often are in our house). But it did taste very nice.

Epiphany (why waste a good tune!)

2008-01-02T15:58:00.000+03:30

After remixing the tune of "I vow to thee my country" I was looking at the songs for the Transcendence service on Sunday, and realised that although "O worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness" is the sort of song people usually do at this time of year, it was going to be really tricky to do. (Its in 3 for a start. Have you ever tried writing dance music in 3? Its not impossible, just very very difficult)

Anyway, so I had a look at the words, and had a think about what the service is meant to be about (revelation of God to everyone, not just the "in crowd", and the baptism of Christ and the wedding at Cana thrown in for good measure) and I came up with this...

Feel free to use, project, stick on bits of paper etc...I'm sure you know the tune.

O Christ, You came from Heaven to Earth, infinity made small
Revealing Heaven's surprising plans, you show God's face to all.
We offer You our gold, that is we crown You as our king.
The incense of our worship, a fragrant offering.
And with myrrh we'll touch the wounded ones with precious healing balm
Be your eyes and ears and healing hands to comfort those who mourn.

We have looked for love and seen its face, within a loveless world,
And to those who hope for happiness a sign has been revealed
For we saw Your star while searching, and we found You in our lives
And Your legend took on flesh, Your reality arrives.
Even now You guide the tra-ve-llers, through dangerous dark lands.
Till the day we reach our Heavenly home held safe within Your hands.

Christ You dived into our water and you made our water pure
And You lived within our tangled lives and made them so much more
For the hand of God has touched us, bringing Christ into this place
And there's hope for each culture, each nation, every race
And the baby grows and show us the true face of the Divine
For we simply lived on water yet you turned it into wine.

The Magi's Journey

2007-12-23T15:10:00.000+03:30

Christmas seems a good time to post this. Feel free to use it if you wish.....Some details might seem surprising to you, but having visited Bethlehem in the middle of winter two years running I can assure you that it really is very cold there at this time of year! (Last year it was colder there than in York).

Instead of having a sermon, we are going to have a cross between a story and bible meditation. So get yourself into a comfortable position, close your eyes if you find it helps, and begin to relax........ Now is the time to leave the busyness of the high street shopping, the worries about what to wear, what to eat, who is coming on Christmas day and to place them in God’s hands. You think about each one now, name it before God, and imagine God turning it into a little silver ball to hang on your Christmas tree............ Now you are free of your worries you can begin to tune into what God wants to say to you this evening.

---------

Now imagine. Imagine that you are a traveller. You have come a very long way. All the way from Africa, carrying a small quantity of precious, fragrant burning resin. You have ridden for hundreds of miles on horseback till your thighs are aching and sore, you have travelled on foot too, till your back aches and your feet throb. Sometimes the territory was a little too forbidding or a little too steep to stay mounted. You are now in a strange country, and here it is night, and the nights are cold.

For as you began to climb higher into the hills, the temperature began to drop. It feels like you are on the roof of the world here and although it is pleasantly warm at noon, at night it is much colder than you have ever known it. There is frost on the ground. You have heard tales of this white powder that covers the sand where the dew has dropped, but noone has ever told you what it felt like before.
-how it bites at your fingers,
- how the cold wind cuts into your face.
- how your knees ache with the cold in the middle of the night with only a flimsy tent to protect you.

You wrap your thick, woolen travelling cloak tighter around you and you look for the place you are searching for. You feel scared and lost. Very lost. Although you have travelling companions and a servant nearby, you know how vulnerable you are in a strange place, with different customs, and this place is under military rule. Armies have been marching past you at regular intervals on the journey.

You hear jeers and shouts from cohorts of passing troops at times, and
the fear is always at the back of you and your companions minds. What if they turned on us? We could never fight against them, there are too many of them. But so far, they never have turned on you. Their commanding officers reigned them in, and told them to march faster. They disappeared over the horizon, the soles of their boots drumming rhythmically into the road.

The fear stayed, deep-down though. And the despair too and the tiny voice inside telling you that you must be crazy for leaving everything you know behind you, just to search.

Because you *are* searching - looking for a new born king. Looking for some answers in life too.
Yet the obvious place to look for a king is in a palace .

But the only palace near this place had no children crying in it. It contained only a bad tempered ruler, who you were afraid would
murder you on the spot, and a few local priests of the ancient and complex religion they follow in these parts. These holy-men directed you six miles to the South. But you aren’t really sure who you can trust. The king who asks you to report back to him with the cold-steel of a threat in his voice, or the priests who consult their ancient scriptures and give the name of a tiny hamlet miles away from anywhere important.

Your confusion mounts... and the black pit of fear in your stomach.
Was this long journey all for nothing?

And now you reach the village. Someone has scrawled the name of the place on a wooden post near a watering trough. The place is riddled with caves, like a giant anthill. And you begin to wonder where on earth you should be looking next. But then you gaze into the sky, and as you gaze the starlight seems to crystallize through the freezing air, pointing the way to one cave in particular, with an old family home leaning crookedly against it, like the cave has become the spare room or the granny flat for the unwanted guests and the pet goat.

It is about as far removed from a palace as you could wish. Deeply deeply ordinary. Yet something inside you makes you want to look further. You lift the latch. And smell, not goat dung, but something animal all the same, a cow, and the remains of whatever the cow had for breakfast. The ripe smell makes you cover your face at first.

But then you look around. And see a scrubbed corner. And in the scrubbed corner a woman is lying on a pile of staw. She is pale, as if she has been bleeding. She looks as if she has recently been through a great ordeal. And then you see the man. He is much older than her, and he is busy propping the woman up with piles of straw and trying to persuade her to drink some wine from a goatskin he is holding.

You hail him in your native tongue. He looks puzzled. You remember just how far you are from home so you try again, this time in the rough traders Greek you have picked up over the years. This time he replies, falteringly, trying to find some words. “Hail stranger, come in.”

You ask. “I have come from far away. I am looking for a baby king.”

He points to a feeding trough, which puzzles you at first. Perhaps he is offering food for the horses. Then you peer inside and you are shocked.
A baby. He is lying, newborn by the looks of him, too purple and wrinked to be any older than a few hours, tiny and fragile, wrapped in bands of cloth that are wound around and around, as the Egyptians do with their princes before they bury them. You stare straight into the baby’s eyes, and the baby seems to stare at you, in an unfocused kind of way. You move closer, so you can see each other more clearly. You feel moved to talk to this child. What do you say? ........................................................

Then the baby seems to want to communicate back. Not in speech, for he has no speech as yet, but in the way that he looks, his position. His eyes bore a message into your soul.
What does he seem to be saying to you...........

And now you feel compelled to give the child a gift. You have brought frankinsence from your home country for him, but you also want to give him something else. What gift do you want to give him now, a personal gift between you and him that noone else can see.................

Your companions come in too. They also pay their respects and give their gifts, and then you leave, after a brief conversation, filled with the halting phrases provided by the language barrier and both your lack of vocab. You are aware that something tremendously important has passed, but you are also aware that it will take time to process this. You sit and think for a while, about what this can all mean, about the next step.....

And then you hear singing, strange, ghostly music, that seems to come from the clouds and the frosty air itself. It sounds like the cross between a song of joy and a lullaby.

Hymmage

2007-12-21T00:01:00.000+03:30

I'm doing a wedding, Visions-style at the end of the month. Its quite exciting really as its only the 3rd completely-Visions-style wedding we've ever done and especially nice because we've known Pete for years.

We're singing three hymns at the wedding. "Be thou my Vision", which we already had a remix of, "And can it be" (which I also had a remix of, but I didn't like it so I've done another) and a song which was new to me "O God beyond all praising" which is sung to the tune Thaxted, (I vow to thee my country). I always liked that tune, but really didn't like the words much, so its really nice to see some nice words to it (which are really appropriate for a wedding). Turns out it 187 in the "Praise!" hymnal.
It has some cool lines like..
"Oh God beyond all praising, we worship you today
and sing the love amazing that songs cannot repay;
For we can only wonder at every gift you send,
at blessings without number and mercies without end:"

and these lines really go with the "for richer, for poorer stuff"...

"Whether our tomorrows be filled with good or ill,
we'll triumph through our sorrows and rise to bless you still"

The words are by Michael Parry (1942-96).

Anyway I've now remixed this one as well and am feeling very productive having 2 new tunes in the bag in one week!
All I have to do now is find time to record some vocals to all the hymns we have remixed this year. I have a bit of a plan to release a CD entitled "Hopefulness" and use the money to finance social action projects in the city which would be a nice contribution Visions could make to the Hope 08 thing. Lets hope we get the time to do the recording......

Gregorian.

2007-12-20T00:38:00.000+03:30

Whilst searching on itunes for "I still haven't found what I'm looking for" I was browsing various other artists covers of the song, and discovered a group called Gregorian. Have you ever heard something and wondered..."Hmm...either this is very clever or its cheesy." And I really don't know which. Actually having mulled it over I think its both clever *and* cheesy.

Basically they are a German group who sing covers of well known songs, but only ones which work in the 7-tone scale.
The vocalists record their parts in a church atmosphere with dimmed lights and candles for atmosphere's sake.

Actually I think their version of "with or without you" worked, but "fields of gold" really made me cringe! Still its worth having a listen for interests sake. It will either amuse or make you cringe, or make you smile, or maybe you might really like it. Feel free to share what you think!

Claudia's tale

2007-11-20T16:38:00.000+03:30

This is a story I wrote for the feast of Christ the King the other year. It seems like a good time of year to post it up.

Sometimes its good to fill in the gaps in a well-known story. Or to see it through different eyes. And so, instead of a sermon. I’m offering you a story. A fictional account of one woman’s glimpse of Christ the King. So here it is, Claudias tale. And apparantly she really was called Claudia. As for the rest. Well the factual information is taken from the gospels which you can read for yourself. The rest....came from somewhere in the imagination.
--------------------------------

My name is Claudia Procula, and it is said that I was a grandchild of the great Augustus Caesar through a rather unruly daughter. You probably think you have never heard of me, yet you may well have done, although not by name. I bet you have heard of my husband though. The man who killed a god to stop a riot. Pontius Pilate. So, if you are willing to sit back and relax a while, I will tell you my story.

It began early Thursday night with a dream. A terrifying dream of a tortured man, a wreck of a man, with holes in his hands and thorns on his head, crying out to a deity in utter devastation. But then an incredible shining light began to shimmer from within him growing in its intensity until it seemed to turn the world to white and as I creased my eyelids against the light I saw that he himself was divine. The son of God. Then time flashed back, and I saw my husbands stylus sign a death warrant. And the pen became a hammer and the hammer clanged on the steel of the sharpest nail I had ever seen, ripping and tearing through the flesh of a hand that was only outstretched in blessing. The blood ran down and covered my husbands hands and I saw the man I loved turn into a monster, a murderer, a king-killer, a god-killer, and a smotherer of all the goodness in the world. And as I ran towards them screaming, to try and stop the man I loved turning into a demon I ended up running nowhere, sliipping further and further away, and as I ran and screamed I too was covered in blood. The earth quaked and swallowed us up.

I awoke, and my bedsheets were wet with sweat and tears. This dream was more real than anything else I had ever experienced in my sleep. I could think of nothing else and the screams were still ringing in my ears. The night was stiflingly hot, and in fear of further terrifying nightmares I left my bed and my room, quicky pulling on a simple dress and an all-encompassing dark cloak. I left my hair down rather than dress it, for I did not want to wake the slaves. But in my confused sleep-filled frame of mind, I quizzed one of the guards at the entrance of the palace. A guard I trusted for his loyalty “Has anyone been arrested this evening. Anyone unusual. I feel sick with foreboding. I’ve had a terrible nightmare and sense that a great injustice is about to be done.”
The guard knitted his brows. “ I have heard that the prophet from Galilee has been arrested by the Jewish priests.He is currently being held in their prison. One of the soldiers just returned from patrol reported it back to me. “
“Take me there. I want to see him,”
“Maaam?”
‘Take me there. But do not breathe a word of this to anyone. I just want to look, you understand.”
And so we went, in the dead of night, to the Jewish priests prison. My cloak offered invisibilty and the soldier offered protection. And my face, well that was the passport to whatever I wished. Noone could refuse the wife of the governor.
The cell had a heavy oak door, with a square barred grille upon it. I did not ask for it to be opened. I was too terrified. I had never entered a prison before. The stench made me retch. I had nothing to mask the smell of blood and sweat, urine and sick. I covered my nose with my cloak, and peered into the cell. There were rats in there. There was also a man in there. But the rats would not go near him. They cowered in fear and kept to the corners. The man had been badly beaten, so much so that it was hard to make out his facial features. He was bound hand and foot, but was kneelng on the floor, his head raised to the sky. And then I knew. It was the man from my dream. And despite the smell, and the wounds, the pain and the sounds of arguments from the room above, there was a sense of calm, of authority. A bubble of peace surrounded the man. He held his head like a king preparing for battle, scanning the sky to judge the weather and then I felt the ground tremble, ever so slightly. As if the creation itself was preparing for battle too. As if creation itself obeyed him. And I knew in my bones that this beaten up wandering mystic dressed in ripped and bloody clothing had the ultimate power, which ran deeper than I could possibly understand. He was king... but if he was in charge the world was crazy. Nothing made sense. ...But nothing does make sense in a world where children die and monsters live.... And then my fear got the better of me, and I ran from that place and the guard ran behind me. I wanted my Pontius to have nothing to do with that man. He was terrifyingly powerful, even in his weakness. Not Pilate, but the prophet. I could believe that that prophet ruled the world and I did not want to cross him. And so, arriving back at the palace, I scratched out a message to my husband’s office in my own hand, not that of a scribe “Don’t have anything to do with that innocent man. For I have suffered a great deal today in a dream because of him.” I sent the letter to him via my trusted guard as the cock crowed, announcing the dawn of a new day.

But there was nothing I could do to save the man.
I tried.
And I believe my husband tried too, as far as he dared, but he didn’t dare risk a riot, or his precious position.
The next day, I went, once again in disguise, to the room in the Palace where Pilate was questioning Jesus. And from my hiding place, behind a pillar, I heard it all. The battle commencing. “Are you the king of the Jews?”
“Is that your own idea. Or did others talk to you about me?”
Who was running this conversation? Those did not sound like the tones of a prisoner begging for his life.
“My kingdom is not of this world. If it were my servants would have fought to stop them arresting me. My kingdom is not from here. “
”So you are a king then?”
“You say I am a king. “ then that light I saw in my dream seemed to glimmer in his eyes “Its for this I was born, for this that I came into this cosmos. To be martyred telling you the truth. Everyone belonging to the truth hears me .”
‘WHAT IS TRUTH!” Pilate cried sweeping out of the room.
And then things went hazy and the world turned wild. Pilate offered to free Jesus. They preferred to free a robber who was practially a serial killer thinking THAT would make the world better place. And then they crucified their king while Pilate washed his hands.

But I witnessed the end. I saw the wreck they had made of his naked body, ripping his skin off with metal whiphooks. I saw the nails of my dream in his palms. But I also heard the conviction in his voice when he spoke to the thief they crucified with him. I heard the thief beg him. “Jesus, remember me, when you come into your kingdom.” And he replied to that man who had probably never done a good thing in his life, hours away from it ending “Amen. I’m telling you . Today you will be with me, in Paradise.”And I knew that it was true. He was a king. He had a crown, even if it was made of thorns.
He had a throne, even if it was an instrument of torture, and as he breathed his last the earth itself shook, releasing the dead. Yes, I could believe that in all this, he really was in charge.

God of all the nations.

2007-11-09T15:20:00.000+03:30

The Iona community have written a rather wonderful peace-song to the tune of Finlandia. We remixed it and have sung it for a while now on Remembrance sunday. But the song was only two verses long, so rather than singing it all twice, the other year I wrote two more verses. Help yourself to my two verses if they prove useful
The Iona version starts.
"This is my song, O God of all the nations A song of peace, for your land and for mine...." and you can find the words in the book "Praying for the dawn" by Ruth Burgess and Cathy Galloway.

This is my song, O God of all the nations
A song of peace, for your land and for mine
Forgive our deafness to your peaceful calling
When fear and anger fill our waking lives
When in our wars we kill your precious children
And black explosions rip your deep blue skies,

Come heal our ears, when they are tired of listening
And heal our eyes, when they can’t see your plans
And calm our fears when we see no solution
To all the torture that invades your lands.
O hear my song, O God of all the nations.
Bring us your peace, come hold us in your hands.

Birmingham: It all went Pete Tong (literally)

2007-10-20T11:47:00.000+03:30

Well I said I'd blog the whole sorry tale, so here it is....
There is an informal sort of gathering of alternative worship and Emerging Church folks happening this weekend in Birmingham, and I was going. Well actually I went, or at least tried to go. But then the most ridiculous farce of an evening happened and in the end I gave up and drove home, because I knew where York was, and Pete Tong and Dave Pierce's dance anthems were on the radio and the roads were cool and empty, and the drive home was really nice, but I missed the conference. And I'm sure there must be some deep and meaningful pattern behind it all, but just at the moment I can't think what it might be, apart from enjoying Dave Pierce's dance anthems at 70mph passing Sheffield.

It all started because it was Black Friday (which is a combination of having a Friday rush hour and the start of half term rolled into one). I left York at 3.30 so should have got to Birmingham at 6.30 at the latest, met up with the others, shared a Taxi to the Revive service with DJs and food and stuff at Lorraines and had a good evening. Followed by meeting up with the B1 people in their building near the cathedral the next day.

What actually happened was that I left York at 3.30, got caught up in multiple jams on the M1 (which in itself wasn't so bad, I was kind of expecting it), and drove into Birmingham. Then I drove round and round and round and round Birmingham looking for the Travelodge, ringing Malcolm 3 times for further directions as I went. Plus Birmingham drivers are bullies! In a Smart car I don't usually have problems navigating strange towns, as people are nice and let Smarts in, and they are nippy. But these guys were really awful and several times actually pushed me into the wrong lane so I couldn't actually get where I wanted to go. The signage is also pretty crap and doesn't come up nearly soon enough. I ended up going halfway to Kidderminster (or at least it felt like it) passing multiple hotels, none of which were the right one.

Anyway eventually I got to the hotel, by which time everyone had already gone to Lorraine's, and it was 9pm by then, as, once I found the Travelodge it took me another half hour to work out how to get into it negotiating the one-way system and once-again being bullied by drivers who simply would not let me out of a sidestreet. But the car park was full. Now the hotel directions say that alternative secure car-parking is available at the NCP car park 600 yards away. But there *isn't* an NCP car park 600 yards away, it seems to have been taken over by Europarks. I rang the hotel and they didn't bother picking up the phone. So I had to pay for temporary parking just to find out where the car park was (which cost 50p and it was a completely open car-park in were no CCTVs there or anything in a really dodgy looking area). Also there were big wheelclamping and wotnot signs everywhere.

So then I went into reception, got my room key and was told that it was the Europark over the road which was the secure one. So I rang Jonny Baker to check that there was still stuff going on, said I'd park my car and then be on my way by taxi unless he heard otherwise. And then the final straw happened.

I got into the nice shiny Europark, and discovered that they charge more than 5 pounds for 24 hours parking (so the hotel info is wrong! ). Plus, what the hotel did not inform us of, was that the machine only takes coins. No cards, no phone payment, no notes. (I *had* notes!) And even overnight parking costs 3.85 and I only had 3.40 left. (if you do the maths you will then realise that I *would* have had enough money if I hadn't had to pay 50p to park to find out where the car-park was). I tried to get change, but of course, everyone else is in the same position. They all needed it too.

I rang the helpline and the guy on the other end was very helpful in tone, he thought there might be a mobile phone-code I could use to pay, but after looking in his books and at his maps there wasn't one! He did suggest putting a note on my windscreen but if the traffic patrollers are anything like the ones in York I wasn't going to risk that. So then I was directed to the local cinema to get change. There were cash machines around (which of course only give notes). There were also bars around (where you can buy drinks and get change). There were also some friendly traffic wardens, who suggested I try the other Euro car park as they were sure that that one took notes. I went and had a look, but it didn't. But then there were also adults old-enough-to-know-better throwing fireworks! (yep at each other and the rest of the street!)

At that point, I thought "That's it. I'm going home." People complain about the Middle-East but it was safer in Ramallah than that bit of Birmingham and I didn't want to get my leg blown off by a stray rocket!

Now in retrospect I know that I *could* have just parked in the open car-park (but my car is new and shiny and undeserving of firework-attack), I *could* have just driven to Lorrianes (but you have to remember that my navigation skills aren't brilliant and I really didn't want to go through that getting-lost-round-Birmingham thing again for another hour and a half) or I *could* have done what the car park man suggested and put a note on my windscreen, but you have to remember that the way things were going I wasn't exactly having a good-day. I bet I'd have got the 100 pound penalty! Plus I'd have had to get up early in the morning to sort out the parking mess and I don't like mornings!

I think sometimes you just instinctively know that by the time the twentieth door has shut in your face, its time to give up.

So I drove home at 10 ish (I *know* where home is) and got back at 12.30 having made a reasonable-attempt at conference-going.

I'm not sure what lessons I might have learnt by this.
Go by train? (I should probably have gone by train, but thought that the Travelodge might not be near the station, they are usually set out of towns)
Get Sat Nav? (or maybe borrow one. I don't go anywhere often enough to buy one)
Just don't go anywhere you'll only get lost?

Transcendence

2007-10-12T13:53:00.001+03:30

P1020784, originally uploaded by Suevisions.

Last year, when St Cuthbert's roof was being re-done, we migrated to York Minster crypt for a few months. We loved the space, and opportunities to meet new people that came from being in the Minster, although it was quite hard work doing a full service set-up every week.

Out of this though, an idea was born. What if we teamed up with the Minster once a month and created a new Fresh Expression? One that combined the best of what Visions and the Minster had to offer. Stunning music, amazing visuals, liturgy with depth and passion combined with futuristic technology and a transcendent atmosphere of powerful approachable-otherness. An Ancient-Future Mass.

So we talked a bit, waited a bit, prayed a bit, and came up with a plan to try two of these services, one in the first Sunday in October and one in the first Sunday in November and just see what happens. It was hard in a sense to imagine what it might be like, unless we actually tried it. Sometimes you just need to learn how to do something by doing it.

Well we had the first one last Sunday and it was completely amazing!
It was worship but it definitely wasn't common (although we did "play it by the book").I was so excited Sunday night I could hardly sleep!

We had four minster choristers come and sing a Kyrie, a psalm, a Sanctus and a piece during communion, and especially within that space and that candlelit atmosphere they were completely mind-bogglingly brilliant! We also had two familiar songs that everyone could join in with, new settings of the old hymns "Be Thou My Vision" and "Let all Mortal Flesh". We had a prayer activity involving rocks "What mountains do you want God to shift for you?" which we presented at the altar, and the climax, as ever, was the Bread-Wine Body- Blood-Mystery connecting us, not just to Christ and each other, but across history to the hoards of Christians who have worshipped in that place across days and months, centuries up to one and a half millenia and more. It makes me realise what an amazing
priviledge we have, and yet what a huge responsibility, singing the next verse of the Great Story and Song to those who have not yet heard the tune, with a certain freedom to improvise, but in such a way that the Song is not lost.

Anyway I'm slipping into waffle-mode now. The next Trancendence will be in York minster crypt at 8pm on the 4th November. Come and check it out for yourselves.

Transcendence - Communion

2007-10-12T13:52:00.000+03:30

P1020779, originally uploaded by Suevisions.

Transcendence - Offertory

2007-10-12T13:51:00.000+03:30

P1020772, originally uploaded by Suevisions.

Transcendence - Beginning

2007-10-12T13:50:00.000+03:30

P1020760, originally uploaded by Suevisions.

Transcendence - Intercessions

2007-10-12T13:49:00.000+03:30

P1020770, originally uploaded by Suevisions.

God be in my head (2)

2007-10-12T13:05:00.000+03:30

A few years ago I wrote a version of the old Anglo-Saxon prayer "God be in my head". I think the sung version is up on the Abbess music site if you want to hear it.

Anyway yesterday I revisted the concept, and a new song was born (God be in my head 2) . I'd just got a piece called "Explore your Mind" by Single cell Orchestra. I heard it on the Groove Salad station on internet radio. I then checked out some of their other pieces on itunes. There are some really nice ambient worship tracks by them on there.

Anyway, as I sometimes do when its a really good track, I started singing, and this is the song I came up with.

God be in my head and in my
heart and in my understanding
God in my eyes and in my looking at the world
Christ be in my mouth and in the
sentences my tongue is speaking
Christ be in my hands and feet
To run and hug your world.

Fill my life and my living
Fill my heart and my giving
You're my end, my beginning.
You're my reason for being

God be in my work and in the
artistry these hands are making
God be in my home and in
my hospitality.
God be in my heart and in the
seat of all my deep emotions
God be in my eating and in
all my energy

If you want to know what the tune goes like, mail me...

Harvest Rap

2007-10-12T11:46:00.000+03:30

I had to do something Harvest-y for the under 3's today (16th October)
They seemed to quite like it last time I brought the drums in, so I brought the drums in again.
And while I was at it I thought I'd write something with a drummed response, so here it is. The harvest rap. The idea is that I say and drum the "verses" and everyone joins in with the responses. I thought I might as well stick it on my blog as I can' t think of anywhere else to put it, but I'll backdate it a bit, cos I want Transcendence to stay on top for a while!

The other bizarre thing is that I got to use all those rhymes that I'd never use normally in a million years. grow and hoe and pets and vets.
Nothing like being obvious eh?

Actually considering how little the kids are, they really have quite a good sense of rhythm, oh and the other good trick I learnt (I can't actually remember where) was to raise your hands and get people to raise their hands when you want them to stop. I've realised why now. You can't possiby play when your hands are in the air, and so it stops the random banging while you're trying to explain something. Aha!

For things that grow and plants to hoe
Thank You God for everything
for farmers and shops and growing crops
Thank You God for everything
For my favourite dinner and not getting thinner
Thank You God for everything
For peas that are green and warm baked beans
Thank You God for everything
For the people that work to make the food on my fork
Thank You God for everything
For apples and pears and chocolate eclairs
Thank You God for everything
For food and treats and chocolate and sweets
Thank You God for everything.
For fruit and cake and being awake
Thank You God for everything
for nice things to chew and strawberry goo
Thank You God for everything
For plants and ants and pets and vets
Thank You God for everything.
For big fish fingers and smells that linger
Thank You God for everything
For soil and sun and playing and fun
Thank You God for everything
For roses and daisys and colours that are crazy
Thank You God for everything
For corn in sheaves and red autumn leaves
Thank You God for everything
For tummies that are full and fluffy sheep wool
Thank You God for everything
For giving us new starts when we're sorry in our hearts
Thank You God for everything
Thank you that You care and listen to my prayer
Thank You God for everything

Ampleforth

2007-09-25T23:16:00.000+03:30

I went on a PCC weekend to Ampleforth this weekend. It was quite interesting really, as I've never been to the place before in my life, although I've driven past once or twice.

Its an incredibly beautiful place, and I even made it to one of the monastic "offices" on the Sunday. (Our timetable was a bit too full to make it to any of the other ones). Actually I was really struck by the contrasts between the informal , guitar-based worship we began our meetings with which included some creative prayer too, and the echoing Roman-Catholic chant of the monks. Yet there were quite a few of us who did a bit of both.

The other thing that struck me, was just how easily the atmosphere of peace and tranquility soaked itself into our souls and made our discussions peaceful and tranquil, yet honest (even when they involved money!) . That combination of honesty and gentleness seems to me to be a precious rarity. Often we compromise truth to gain peace, but how people react all depends on how we tell truth, with gentleness and and air of exploration, valuing the other, or with uncompromising brutality.

I think I'd like to visit Ampleforth again.

The Lost sheep.

2007-09-18T23:25:00.000+03:30

I was down to preach at a fairly traditional church service last Sunday morning. The bible text for the service was the story of the Lost sheep "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn't he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home.". Here follows an extract from the talk, because people quite liked the story and so I decided it was worth blogging.

"In the best tradition of the tale tellers and the parable givers, l’ll begin with a story.
Not so long ago, and not so far away, there was a sheep farmer. He had a flock of 100 fine sheep, who grazed on the Yorkshire hlls and soaked up the Autumn sunshine. Anyway, one morning he went to inspect the field the sheep were currently grazing in, and counted them, as he had a feeling that something wasn’t quite right.

Anyway, sure enough, it turned out that one sheep was missing. So he went to look for it.....Actually he didn’t go very far, he just poked around the ditches at the edge of the field, had a quick check underneath the brambles in the corner, and then looked in his pocket, (not for the sheep,his pocket wasn’t that big) but for his mobile.
“I’ve lost a sheep.” he said. “Will the insurance cover it? Great!”And off he went back home, having written the sheep off as an insurance loss.

Meanwhile the poor old sheep was sitting halfway up a clifftop a mile away, bleating pityfully. Eventually a walking party spotted it, and rescued it, and it wandered off to join the nearest herd, much to the puzzlement of another local farmer, who one morning counted his sheep and found one extra.

Thats what our society is like these days. We right off sheep as an insurance loss, and we right off people too in a kind of similar way.

The desert fathers, who were monks who lived in the desert in the first few centuries, had a reputation for being wise, and there is a story told of one of these desert fathers which goes like this.

A soldier asked Abba Mius, if God accepted repentance. After the old man had told him many things, he asked him this question:Tell me, my dear, if your cloak is torn, do you throw it away?"He replied, "No, I mend it and use it again."
The old man said to him, "If you are so careful about your cloak, will not God be equally careful about his creature?"

Its a wonderful story, but extra poignant these days, because I think if someone asked the soldier the same question now, “would you throw the torn cloak away?” he would say “Yeah, I’d bin it cos I can pick a new one up from Tescos for a tenner”. But God doesn’t do that. God does not consider us disposable. God takes the time and the trouble to mend us instead.

The Good Samaritan

2007-07-17T22:54:00.000+03:30

We did a service on the Good Samaritan on Sunday. Miles did the teaching, which was very creative. Anyway it got me thinking. That night I was lying in bed and I realised that, at the moment, our planet is like the man who was mugged on the way from jerusalem to Jericho and lying face down in the road going "help!"

And we are the priest and the levites who are passing by on the other side.

Its hard to know what to do sometimes, as its not a case of just one person helping, or one easy solution. This particular patient will need all of us carrying the stretcher to take them to the inn to get treated. And this means that we cannot live the way we once did, for if we do, other people are going to get hurt. Yet we have to do something for we cannot ignore the fact that what we do tend to do instead is pass by on the other side of the road, pretending that the patient doesn't exist, which will help noone.

Umbrellas

2007-07-08T21:13:00.000+03:30

I was invited to do some prayer stations (praying for our country) yesterday at a prayer service marking two years since the 7th July bombings in London. It was quite a powerful and moving event, run by Churches Together and One Voice (church leaders network) in York. One of the wonderful things about it was that when the churches tried to book the Guildhall in York ( a kind of civic hall) for the event the council leaders said they would invite us to come in for free and that the civic party would attend. When we arrived we were actually struck by the fact that we were standing in the rebuilt "medieval" ruins of a building that had once been bombed itself (during the blitz) and yet had risen from the ashes to be restored to its former glory.

During the middle section there were 3 sets of prayer stations (praying for the city, the world and the country). I was actually quite inspired by the "praying for the world' section. There was a huge world map (printed on a duvet cover), and a lot of little home-made umbrellas made of cocktail sticks and paper. We were asked to pray for a country, and put a little umbrella on the map of a country we'd prayed for, praying for God's protection and for the people there. Then, a minute or two after I had placed my umbrella on the map, suddenly the sun came out, and the shadow of each umbrella appeared to cover each country. It was a wonderful effect.

And then I remembered the cocktail parasols that appeared in st Cuthberts a couple of years ago that we never knew what to do with. Now all we need is a map, some blue tac and a strong light to cast a shadow....

As Rhianna put it....
"Now that it's raining more than ever Know that we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella."

Emmaus or Damascus?

2007-06-22T18:59:00.000+03:30

I don't often go around raving about books. Maybe its cos I really don't really have enough time to read as much as I should. But one person whose work has definitely inspired me recently has been Stephen Cottrell. I met him at a Fresh Expressions day in London and was quite impressed by what he had to say there, which made me notice when his name made it into the Church Times, a few times recently. For celebrating communion at the gates of Faslane, shining peoples shoes on Maundy Thursday and most recently, handing egg-timers out at the station to try and get frantic people just to take 3 minutes out of their hectic lives to stop, for just a moment.

Anyway as a result I pricked my ears up when someone recommended his book "From the abundance of the heart" which is subtitled Catholic Evangelism for All Christians. And I must admit that I have been impressed. It makes a lot of sense. The church in the past has spent a lot of time and effort on "Damascus Road" type evangelism, focussing on the sudden conversion experience, and those experiences are good and he doesn't dismiss them. But then he suggests that you try asking your people about their faith-stories, and see how it happened for them. Apparently 3/4 of Christian's stories are more like the "Emmaus Road" than the "Damascus Road", a gradual journey accompanied by others.

So we tried this exercise in Visions, and around that particular dinner table it turned out that we were all "Emmaus Road" people, with little Damascus moments along the way, but mostly a gradual journey.

Anyway he then goes on to suggest lots of practical ways of adopting a more Emmaus Road way of reaching out in mission. Some of the suggestions were challenging for me, as I realised that we aren't really getting alongside people as much as we would like to. I must admit I'd like to discuss it more with our folks and see what we come up with as a result.

Oh the other thing I liked about the book was his definition of 3 rather "churchy" words that pop up in the traditional creeds.
Holy, Catholic and Apostolic. He drew a little diagram with 3 circles and said that Holy was in communion with God, Catholic
was being connected to one another (ie more about community than about power structures), and apostolic about being present in the world (apostolic literally means "sent"). In order to be effective we need all 3, because each one on their own leads to a skewed view of life. (being stuck in holy huddles, or divorced from real life, or disconnected from the Source of all our power)

Makes a lot of sense to me.

Sue.

e-Merging

2007-06-22T15:11:00.000+03:30

Malcolm thinks I have too many blogs. I've always kept this one (mostly) for top tips on worship for busy people who can't be bothered or simply don't have time to read my deeper ramblings, (or should I say just plan longer ramblings) but Malc reckons that folks will go by the subject line anyway and only read what they want to. Hence, I am going to merge this one and the Abbess blog, and copy some stuff over here that was previously over there. I hope this makes sense and doesn't bore you too much.

Sue.

Tales of Jerusalem 1

2007-06-21T16:56:00.000+03:30

(Originally posted on the Abbess blog on the 8th January 2007)

I've just come back from spending 6 days in Jerusalem. An exhausting but special time. There was lots to see and lots to think about. I won't give an ordered diary account here. Just some tales, thoughts and impressions. Here is one of them...our journey to Bethany.

We were staying at St George's Jerusalem so the journey to Bethany doesn't take long. You can walk it if you are feeling fit, up the mount of Olives and around. But we thought we'd save our legs for the journey back, and took the bus, which dropped us off, not very far away from the wall. The big ugly towering, grey concrete wall. We walked along the wall, reading the graffiti, and laughing in a bittersweet way at some of the jokes and comments on there. "Make love, not walls", "Mancs against the tanks" and messages from many different towns and countries throughout the world. We walked all the way to the top of the hill, where the ruins of a once palatial hotel stood, its windows tattered and torn, its walls pockmarked. An old map later told us that it was once called the Cliff Hotel, and it would once have commanded serene and beautiful views over the city while the rich partied and played within. Now it stands like a empty shell, a shadow whispering tales of happier times.

We looked over at the view of Jerusalem, and the mount of olives. It was indeed beautiful, and a guard came over. I think they were probably a little nervous. What were these strange Westerers doing here. What are you doing? They asked. "looking at the view" we replied. They asked us where we were from, and Jem answered but asked the same question in return. Amazingly whenever he did this (and he always did it in a jolly and polite manner, which is why I think he got away with it) they would actually reply. This man came from Russia once. I did wonder to myself why would he come to a place where he would have to join the army for 3 years, and then I remembered that the same thing was probably true of Russia too.

We returned down the hill, following the concrete, which I remembered from last year, when it suddenly stopped at a point where I remembered seeing Arabs clambering over last year. Now there was no gap, just a profound change of style. The grey concrete suddenly morphed into carefully laid honey stone, like a garden wall on growth hormone. Why the sudden change? Well the wall was now not just surrounding a city, it was surrounding a rather nice dwelling that we presumed would be demolished. We didn't know who owned it, but decided that they must have some power and influence to get the ritzy glitzy "pretty?" version of the wall.

Then we came to the convent that is the traditional site of Mary and Martha's garden. We rang the bell, and a nice Polish priest answered and allowed us in to see the church. We took photos of the inside, and then went to explore the garden. The priest said that we were welcome to do so, although we would no longer be able to walk from Mary and Martha's, following the route Jesus took to raise Lazarus from his tomb. For now there was not only a wall in the way, but soliders patrolling the gardens.

We met the soldiers. Actually they were quite nice, in a funny sort of way. They seemed to be a little torn between wanting to be friendly, and trying to be "official". They asked us the usual questions, and they seemed happy for they did allow us to look at the caves in the garden, which the priest told us date from 100BC. So Jesus would have known them. We went inside, and filmed. The light was amazing! And I was struck by how unspoilt they were, like living relics. They were simply carved out stone, with a door, and yet I was sure that an ex-carpenter had once visited this carved out hillside, and been inside this cave. It was an amazing feeling. like stepping into a Tardis. A small sunny sacred space.

Then we tried to get to the tomb of Lazarus further down the hill, but the wrong side of the boundary. The soldiers wouldnt' let us go the direct way. They said it was no longer possible, and perhaps it wasn't. The wall looked very nearly finished. But just outside the monastery gate we found a gap, which had 2 more soliders guarding it. like an unofficial sort of checkpoint. We were glad it was there though. The only other alternative would have been a 40 minute bus ride to a place that was once "just down the hill". A pilgrimage route crudely carved in half.

I waved my Christian pilgrimage guide at them, which seemed to make an excellent substitute for a passport, pointing out the picture of Lazarus' tomb. They let us through. We clambered over the uneven ground, with scattered rubble, emerging on a small road, where we caught site of the tomb, the Greek church nearby, and the giftshop opposite, which they opened for us.

The venue was empty apart from us. I imagined coachloads of day trippers once making this simple journey to a place that Jesus was very fond of, but now all was silent, and business was bad. Did any coaches make the trip anymore? I don't know. But I sincerely hope that they will make the effort, for I am sure that *they* will be waved through like VIPs. They will not have to queue for hours while thier passport is checked and re-checked, or simply made to wait and interminably long time. The country needs them!

And we finally saw the tomb, clambering down many, more modern, steps to the ancient entrance. It smelt a little strange, but somehow that made it feel more authentic. It was, of course, empty. And after lunch, we walked back returning to the citt the way Jesus would have walked, around Bethany and down the mount of Olives. This city is such as city of contrasts. It contains such incredible beauty, and yet such incredible sadness.

Tales of Jerusalem 2

2007-06-21T15:20:00.000+03:30

(originally posted on the Abbess blog on Monday 8th January 2007)

Or perhaps I should call this particular episode tales of Jerico?

On Wednesday we hired a car. It took an interminably long time. Jem had warned us that this was often the case, and that if we had breakfast at 7.30 we would eventually get on the road at around ten. In that respect he was both right....and wrong. We almost got on the road at 9am, but as we excitedly clambered our way into the shiny silver Chevrolet and started the engine, the
mirror promptly broke off and landed in the passenger footwell with a thud. We did toy with the idea of simply driving away, but caution made us point our the fault to the car hire boses, who offered us coffee while they attempted to fix it. Half an hour, and a ton of something that looked like cement later we returned to our car, started the engine, and once again our mirror decided to do some sort of perverse acrobatics. This time in landed in the driver's lap.

Then a short, but intriguing journey around the one way system of East Jerusalem began, as we followed a car hire employee's vehicle to a place that does repairs to car mirrors. I must admit that my heart was heavy. I thought we'd end up spending the entire morning on a garage forecourt when we could be journeying to Jerico on the bus. But, when I saw the enormous roll of tape covered in Arabic advertising that the mechanic was brandishing I decided that things were looking up. Actually they did an extremely speedy and successful job of the mirror, and with the aid of a couple of pieces of paper wedged in the right direction, we could even see through the back window using it!

And so we set off, as predicted at 10Am, but having had an interesting introduction to the mirror-repair business.

We then drove East out of town, heading for Qumran. It was Louise's first introduction to driving in the Middle East. (you could tell by the way she was wincing!). It was incredible how quickly the weather changed too as the road made its rapid descent from 900 metres above sea level to 400 metres below at the dead sea. We seemed to spontaneously skip from winter to Summer (or British Summer at least). Jerusalem was colder than York had been when I left there, but at Qumran I took my socks off, and basked in the sunshine. It was so nice to be released from the cloud at last and bring out the sunglasses.

After Qumran we headed fro Jerico to look for Zaccheus' sycamore tree. None of the locals seemed to know where it was, but we followed the directions in the pilgrimage guidebook, and found it, with its painted trunk, growing by the side of the road.
A two thousand year old tree, with white paint on its gnarled, half-hollow trunk, and great branches that would still support a climber now. But we never really had time for quiet contemplation,as we were immediately decended upon by some extremely friendly souvenier sellers. We chatted to them though, and once again, they paid us the complement of presuming we were ex-pats, rather than tourists.

Jerico was amazing though, and I was really glad I went there, and not just for the wonderful weather. (I read somewhere that in days-gone-by weathy residents of Jersualem and Bethlehem overwintered there). No, the thing that really thrilled me was that everywhere we went locals greeted us with "welcome, welcome" in English. We were treated like VIPs simply for taking the trouble to visit their town. A moving and humbling thing indeed. For I couldn't help thinking of all those people who are scared to venture into Palestinian territory, for fear of what they might encounter, when what we were encountering was people who simply wished to make us welcome.

We lunched outside, the only time during our trip when we were anywhere hot enough to do this. We had the usual mediterranean tapas of hummus, tahini, salads, olives, aubergine and freshly baked flatbread, but this selection was particularly nice. The restaraunt, Al Khayam, had a pond in the middle of a garden full of orange trees, heavily laden with fruit, and the owner of the restaraunt encouraged us to pick the fruit from the tree and eat that for dessert. I must admit that the fruit was amazing! The peel was so full of juice that the zest sprayed through the air and filled our nostrils with zingy perfume. It was so relaxing, simply sitting in the sunshine, that I found it hard to leave really.

Then we went to investigate where a new Orthodox monastery was being built nearby. A priest at the cathedral had told us that icon painters were staying there, in order to paint the new church, and that it was a unique opportunity to see them at work on the frescoes. Sadly we must have come at the wrong time, for the place was deserted and noone answered the door, but I was glad we saw the outside, even if we couldn't get inside, and just knowing that new works of art were being made in a place where we often simply hear of destruction was in itself a sign of hope for me.

The only problem with crossing the border, is that it always takes an age to cross back, and this journey was no exception.
We had hoped to get to Wadi Qelt to look at the monastery before the light failed, but we had a 45 minute wait while the cars in front had their papers and their vehicles checked thoroughly. When our turn came, they simply glanced at our passports
(I'm not sure we even opened them!) and waved us on our way, but by that time the light had grown dimmer. Still I counted myself extremely lucky. I know that 45 minutes is nothing really in comparison with some of the waits people have had to suffer.

When we reached the wadi, we chatted to the Beduin. As the moon rose, shining so brightly over the desert that it cast great shadows, one of them mounted his donkey and said he was heading to the supermarket in Jerico for some shopping. As we watched his figure climb over the hills of the Judean wilderness and disappear as a dark comma on the nighttime hill I couldn't help thinking that some things never change. Two thousand years or more, people would have to travel to the nearest town to buy provisions by donkey. The only difference is that these days it comes in a plastic packet, and is sold in a supermarket.

Tales of Jerusalem 3 - Bethlehem

2007-06-20T15:31:00.000+03:30

(originally posted on the Abbess blog on January 13th 2007)

How far is it to Bethlehem?

Not very far.

Three and a half shekels on the bus, which goes from the bus station near Herod's gate.
(that's around 45p in English money....ish) Buses here are interesting. In fact bus stations themselves are interesting, at least the Arab ones (and I've only been in Arab ones so can't speak for the rest). The bus station is kind of like a sidestreet, or garage forecourt. Its not very large, but neither are the buses. They are minibuses really. We asked where the bus for Bethlehem was and the locals pointed it out to us. We were always smiled at and greeted with much warmth, but I think maybe knowing even a little Arabic does help in that respect. People really really do appreciate you taking the time and effort to bother speaking even a few words, such as "hello" and "thank you". One thing I really love about these local minibuses is that there is no timetable as far as I can see. You simply sit on the bus, and when it is reasonably full, it goes. Simple. No hanging around outside in the cold. Its easy and sometimes I really wish we had something like that back here, but maybe we're just in too much of a hurry. I dunno.

One rather complicated aspect of this bus station's design seemed to be that the buses had to back out, onto a main street (although thankfully, not a too populated one when we were around). This exercise involved a lot of beeping of horns and sometimes some shouting too, but did in fact result in the bus being well noticed and so noone was likely to accidentally hit us, as we manouvred around until we were facing the right way.

Then we set off properly. There were many sights to see along the way. The walls of Jerusalem, and many famous historical sites. You simply had to know which way to look to see them. The roads snaked and wound up hills and down hills, moving from century to century around every bend, as some views were straight out of the old testament, and others were filled with the concrete of the 60s. There were sad views too, previously unspoilt beauty spoiled by recent settlements, which we just knew were a cause of grief and sadness to the locals.

"There was a forest there when I first came here," Jem pointed out a hill through the window. "It was the last forest in Bethlehem, and now its gone". Replaced by modern houses. I was shocked to discover that even since my visit last year they were building a tower block on the hill. Anywhere else I couldn't see anyone allowing it. Would we build a tower block in the middle of the Lake district? I think not. But then the land suffers here as well as the people.

We reached the infamous wall and the bus stopped. A spanish guy got off the bus at the same time as us, and looked rather confused. Thankfully Louise spoke Spanish and so she chatted to him, helping him negotiate the crossing, which was a bit confusing for us too. For everything had moved. It made us wonder why, but then we realised that the Banky murals were no longer within view...hmmm. Is this why? There was one left within sight, and they had obviously tried to scrape the paint off it, and had failed. It struck me as a silly petty little act of ignorance and vandalism. I bet in 50 years time they'll be selling for millions. Hmm. I'd have liked to have got a decent photo of one of them, but then I hadn't really come here to look at paint anyway.

We went through "passport control" (or whatever it was) and then we headed down the corridor straight ahead ("as you do") and met....a no entry sign! So we backtracked and went along the second corridor, and met...a no entry sign! Now we were really confused. There were no signs, in Hebrew, English or Arabic to tell us where to go next. The man in the glass cubicle gesticulated his arms wildly, and then we realised that the door which looked like it had been left open for ventilation, that went into what looked like a backyard where the bins were kept, was in fact the main way through. We headed towards it. It still looked very "wrong" for there was a ten foot high wire fence in front of us. But as we reached the fence we realised that actually it had been placed in such a way as to create a "corridor" to the top of the hill, and the exit. Finally we had made it across the boundary.

We walked down the hill, to where the road abruptly ended, and were met by eight taxi drivers or so. Jem and Louise helped the Spanish man with his luggage and his taxi, doing the haggling for him. It turned out that he was a pilgrim, going to stay at the Spanish, Franciscan house, Casa Nova, on retreat. I admired him greatly for that. And I must admit that I was a little envious too, to actually stay in Bethlehem itself. Then we secured a taxi of our own. Our driver was friendly, but did insist on telling us about all the other things he was willing to do for us in great detail. That he was happy to take us to Herodian " I like Herodian" or the Shepherds fields. " I like the shepherd's fields" or the souvenier shop. "I like this shop. It is owned by my uncle." We felt a bit battered really. At another time, in another place, it would have made me angry, but this time it simply made me sad. I knew they were having such a difficult time, and it wasn't fair! I felt guilty about not being able to take him up on all these trips. But we simply needed to get to Manger Square, and we had other plans for our day and we didn't need a taxi for them. The poor drivers! As one other driver said. "We used to be able to go to Jerusalem. We could go on trips. Now we are in a prison camp and now, if we are lucky and we can get fares, we drive round and round the same old places!" Something about his description reminded me of hamsters. But these aren't hamsters. These are people who have been caged, even children and babies! But nowadays there are hardly any visitors to drive round and round. They can't get much work. And so they sit all day waiting and waiting, for some fare to come.

Manger square when we got there was a bit mad. It turned out that, as it was New Year's day, many people had come to Bethlehem for a day trip. They were all locals though. The children were out, as usual, waving necklaces and postcards at us, or simply holding out their hands and asking for shekels. They were a bit like flies the way they buzzed around you persistently. But mostly they were friendly. Somtimes they also liked to chat, to practice their English. "Where are you from? What is your name? How are you?"

I went into the Church of the Nativity and it was there that I saw what I regard as a little beacon of hope. The place was full, of Christians and of Muslims. They queued together to visit the site of Jesus's birth. It was something that we would not see here. It was something that I feared had been lost in fundamentalism, in post 9/11 witchunts, in Iraq somewhere, and yet here it was present. Here it was tangible. That the baby in the manger, can still unite people, can still bring people together, and if we only take the trouble to go, we can still hear angel song, and see a tiny tiny piece of peace on Earth.

Love is His word

2007-06-19T11:04:00.000+03:30

Jem and Louise (two Visions members) are getting married on Saturday. They are going to have a pre-wedding communion
the night before and we had a chat about songs that Louse's family might know that are in the Catholic hymn book. I suggested Love is his Word, because I know we used to sing it at school, and when my uncle and aunt had their 40th anniversary celebration we sang it there. Which was nice because family, cousins and kin (see verse 5) were all at the service.

So last week I remixed it, and, in the process of remixing it I've been pretty blown-away by the words really. They are so strong. It makes me wonder why we don't sing it more often really. Its nice when you forget about something for years and then re-discover it, like blowing the dust off an old ornament and disovering that its made of gold. And this is well worth some re-discovery as it has some really important stuff in it. The first verse has the whole fasting/feasting thing. And the fact that we fast alone (we don't do it in front of people to advertise it or sit there when others are eating looking glum as that's an offense against hospitality). But we feast with others, for we should share our food and our joy. There is lots of deep stuff about communion in the song too, and yet it finishes with the beauty of the relationship of the Father, Son and Spirit. Deep and wonderful stuff.

Love is His word, Love is His way,
Feasting with all, fasting alone,
Living and dying, rising again
Love only love is His way.

Richer than gold
Is the love of my Lord.
Better than splendour and wealth.

Love is His way, love is His mark,
Sharing His last Passover feast.
Christ at the table, host to the twelve
Love, only love, is His mark.

Love is his mark, love is His sign,
Bread for our strength,
wine for our joy,
“This is my body, this is my blood”
Love, only love is His sign.

Love is His sign, love is His news,
“Do this” He said “Lest you forget
All my deep sorrow, all my dear blood,
Love, only love, is His news.

Love is His news, Love is His name,
We are His own, chosen and called,
Family, brethren, cousins and kin.
Love, only love is His name.

Love is His name, love is His law,
Hear His command, all who are His,
“Love one another, I have loved you”
Love, only love, is His law.

Love is His law, Love is His word,
Love of the Lord, Father, and Word,
Love of the Spirit, God ever one,
Love, only love, is His word.

Cinders

2007-02-07T23:36:00.000+03:30

The readings last Sunday included the story of the call of Isaiah, when the angel takes a burning coal from the altar and touches Isaiah's lips with it. So we did something similar! At the end of a confession prayer, we invited people to come up to the communion table and take a piece of cinder toffee, from an impovised brazier made of a wok lid, and touch it to their lips (and eat it afterwards). It worked really well.

Actually one of my favourite parts of the whole exercise was that we worked out a way to make the coals glow too! I was just wondering whether there was a way to do this, perhaps by projecting something onto the coals, when I remembered that I had
some of those light-up ice cubes that you can freeze and put into people's drinks. They come in different colours, one of which is red. So we put three red cubes in with the coals, and it looked really quite impressive. Just shows you that it doesn't always have to be super complicated!

Our Broken World.

2007-02-07T23:30:00.000+03:30

The other week I was doing intercessions at the family service in Acomb, and I wanted to do the prayer activity when we pass around the globe while a piece of music is playing, and people say the name of a country or place that they see on it. There were going to be about 60 people at the service, so I thought it would be a good idea to use two globes really. So I brought two inflatable globes with me.

Anyway, one of the globes refused to blow up. I spent about 15 minutes on it before I realised that the reason it wasn't blowing up was because it had a rip in the side. I almost threw it away and decided to just use the other globe, when I realised that actually I could use the "broken" globe as well.

So I brought both globes with me, explaining that the whole globe was the way God wanted it to be, and the "broken" globe
was the way it is at the moment. So we passed bother globes around and rounded up the prayers by offering God our "broken" world (hold up the broken one) and asking Christ to make it whole (hold up the whole one).

Tales of Jerusalem

2007-01-09T01:16:00.000+03:30

I've just come back from spending 6 days in Jerusalem. Over on the abbess blog I'm writing down some impressions of my experiences there. Check it out.

Five things

2006-12-20T13:04:00.000+03:30

Malcolm from Dream has tagged me, with the "Five things you probably didn't know about me" tag. (just as I was enjoying everyone else's secret's :-) So here we go.

1 - I'm allergic to washing up! (honestly!) I think as allergies go its quite a good one actually as its gets me out of doing the washing up if I go out. If I dip my fingers in Fariy Liquid they go all spotty and itchy. (its allergic eczema basically). The downside is that people who know me well enough throw a pair of rubber gloves in my direction and the excuse is over!

2 - My dad tells me (although I really don't remember it now) that when I was very small (2 or 3) I could recite every part in a television set including all the fiddly bits, the Cathode Ray Tube and wotnot. ( I wish I had a sample of me trying to say "cathode ray tube" at the age of 2, that'd have made a great techno track!) Anyway my dad blames himself for me getting into multimedia worship, as he used to repair TVs when I was a kid (and I used to watch).

3 - I can read Arabic letters (or at least most of them) but can't understand the words when I've done so. It comes from living in North Africa for a bit when I was 16 and having a go at reading the cornflake packets and shop signs and visiting the gulf when I was at university. (On both occasions my parents were working there and I simply tagged along for the ride). Anyway I've decided that this is a bit silly, not knowing any "proper" Arabic, so I have signed up for level 1 at the university and can now say thrilling phrases such as "that is a banana" and "my brother is called David" (actually he's my brother in law but we haven't learnt the arabic for "in law" yet). Anyway we're getting there slowly (after all, it is quite a hard language to learn to write) and we are having lots of fun in the process!

4 - When I was 4 I wanted to be a nun, and when I was 8 I wanted to be a computer programmer. So instead I became a Rev and married a computer programmer!

5 -When I was 14 I won a prize in the post office letter writing competition which was entitled " a letter to someone from another planet".I won a set of stamps and a gold plated pen and pencil set and a bit of money. My school won some money too, which meant that the year after they made everyone in the school enter! (LOL) I also wrote a book, which was really rubbish, (I think it had "suddenly" in practically every sentence) but my mum "suddenly" said you had to send in a typed manuscript to publishers for them to consider it, so at least by the time I'd typed it all up I had "suddenly" learnt how to type properly (with all ten fingers!)

Jon Hopkins

2006-10-19T13:31:00.000+03:30

I've just discovered Jon Hopkins music. Its beautiful blissful stuff that you can stick on in the background, and simply pray over.
He's on the itunes store if you want to listen to samples. I've bought the album Opalescent and the track Second Sense which mixes Imogen Heap singing Spem in Alium with blissful synth pads.'Can't wait to play that one in the Minster Crypt, its going to be spine tingling!

Sue.

Dawn of the remote

2006-10-17T19:33:00.001+03:30

I've just treated myself to a slide changer for the computer. I think its one of those "why on earth didn't I get one earlier?" ideas.
(actually I think the reason I never got one before was I thought that they were really expensive, at least £50 or something).

My remote works with Mac and PC Powerpoint and Keynote (which is what I use) and means that I can sit myself on a beanbag anywhere i like and change the slides, or give a talk without having to worry about where my computer is sitting in relation to me. So simple, yet so efficient. It has two bits, the inner bit (which initially looks like a tongue sticking out)
pulls out and then looks like a USB pendrive. That goes into the USB slot. The other bit sits somewhere near you and you just click it and the slide changes. No wires, no mess, just nice slide changes whenever you like. Yay!

When I first bought it I had a brief "why isn't this working" moment, and then realised, I'd forgotten to put the battery in. It was hiding in another part of the packaging (oops).

Oh by the way, the one I got was called the Interlink Presentation Pilot Pro Remote and cost 23.49. Not too bad at all really!

Chatres by Night - East End of St Peter's Church

2006-09-25T14:57:00.000+03:30

PICT3321
Originally uploaded by Suevisions.

The East end of St Peter's looked pretty spectacular once it was covered by a mass of projections
Oh if only we had projectors capable of doing this sort of thing ! But it does take a phenomenal amount of money (sigh!) The list of sponsors on the hoardings outside the buildings was as long as my arm . But I was very very glad I got to see the images anyway.

They also had projections along some very small and ordinary streets. We'd be wondering along and suddenly see nights jousting on the wall, or a giant image of a lady. The moving images were the most impressive, but also the most difficult to photograph. One was like an enormous film loop on the side of one of those long French chateau-like buildings, so you'll just have to imagine what that might have been like!

St Peter's Church, Chartres.

2006-09-25T14:52:00.000+03:30

PICT3308
Originally uploaded by Suevisions.

The rest of St Peters Church was also covered in slides. They gave it this amazing jewel-box effect.

Chartres - The North Door

2006-09-25T14:51:00.000+03:30

PICT3299
Originally uploaded by Suevisions.

Here is a close up of the apostles on the North Door of Chartres cathedral. The projections were aiming to give a feel for what the statues would have looked like in the middle ages, when they were painted in bright colours.

Chatres by night

2006-09-25T14:49:00.000+03:30

PICT3266
Originally uploaded by Suevisions.

This is the West door of the Cathedral in Chartres, fairly early on in the Son et Lumiere show. By the end of the show the entire West front was covered in Stained glass, but it was acutally quite hard to photograph as it kept changing.

Chatres by night

2006-09-25T14:48:00.000+03:30

PICT3285
Originally uploaded by Suevisions.

The French do some amazing audio visual stuff which is one of the reasons why I love holidaying in France. This year we toured around France, starting at the South Atlantic coast and finishing up by
getting the ferry from Calais to Dover. But one of the highlights was Chatres by night. WOW! Not only had they covered the cathedral in images, which moved and changed, as music played in the square, but they had covered most of the town with them too! There must have been about ten different buildings with projections on them, and all of them were completely amazing! So here follow some highlights of the Chatres illuminations, which just proves what is possible with a big budget and a huge amount of sponsorship!

Fading

2006-09-16T15:37:00.000+03:30

I expect this piece, for some, is teaching grannies how to suck eggs, but I thought I'd mention it anyway, as I noticed that
it keeps happening at events and services. Notably last week, but I shan't tell you where, that would be mean.

A piece of music I heard at a recent service reminded me of something simple which really improves things for me. As the title says, Fading. While I was at college lots of people used to play music while we were waiting for morning
prayer to begin. Then when things were about to start the music stopped "whap!" But it doesn't have to be like that.
Anyway all you have to do to avoid those nasty little "whap!" noises is turn the volume down gently before pressing stop and hey presto! a lovely fade. Then you can always fade the next bit of music up. Sometimes some of the simplest things are the most effective ones.

Of course its even better if you can find a little mixer and mix one piece of music into another, but if not a good old fade will
cover any abrupt changes nicely.

Boxes

2006-09-14T15:35:00.000+03:30

The theme of Sunday's service was prejudice and the values we use to put other people into boxes. We had four boxes at the front of the church. A shocking pink box with a bow on it, a carved box with gold on it, a blue businesslike box and an old scrappy cardboard box. The floor of the church had a pile of pictures in the centre of it, which had been taken from magazines.
People were invited to place some pictures into the boxes that they thought they might fit in, according to any criteria they wished really. Perhaps according to the way they say them , or according to the way society saw them. So we were judging by first impressions

Later in the service we opened the boxes and put the pictures near each box, so that people could see which pictures were by which boxes....
then we prayed the following prayer.

leader: We pray for those we put in a nice box,
the A list celebrities,
the idols,
those who are given the Star treatment,
those who we put on pedestals,
who find it hard to live up
to our labels and expectations.

All: Jesus Christ
The only true Superstar
We pray for those
Who cannot cope with the star-treatment
The paparrazi, the pressure.
Help them to know,
That you can see them warts and all.
And love them for who they truly are
Not who they pretend to be.

leader: We pray for those we put in a scrappy box.
Those trapped in crummy flats, dead-end jobs,
Those treated like dirt, because of their looks,
Their smell, their colour, their body shape

All: Jesus Christ,
Born in an outhouse,
We pray for those
Who cannot cope with their surroundings,
Who cannot cope with being treated like dirt,
Or, worse still, have never known anything better.
You promise to set the prisoners free,
Set these people free,
From our expectations,
Help them to feel loved, valued and important to You.

leader: We pray for those we put in a pretty box.
Those we judge for how they look.
Those we do not allow to fulfil their potential,
Because of their past, or their sex or sexuality.

All: Jesus Christ,
Who treated women as equals,
Who ate with prostitutes and swindlers
And gave us all a new start.
We pray for those
Who cannot cope with others prejudice
And those who say "you can't do that"
And those who cannot break free from the past.
Help them to find new opportunities,
Help them hear your call in their lives.
And help us never to stand in the way of that call.

leader: We pray for those we put in an efficient box
Those we judge by their previous successes
Those we load down with high expectations
Of future performance,
Those who never get the time
To rest and be themselves.

All: Jesus Christ,
Managing Director
Of the Company of Heaven,
Leader who serves
The Way to the Truth.
We pray for those
Who cannot cope with the pressure
Of always trying to be "top"
You promise to set the prisoners free,
Set these people free,
From their own expectations,
Help them to feel loved, valued and important to You
And that its Ok sometimes to fail.

Candlelit "Junk"

2006-09-11T22:39:00.000+03:30

candlejunk2
Originally uploaded by Suevisions.

Here is a picture of the junk after the prayer ritual was finished.

The Beauty of Junk

2006-09-11T22:21:00.000+03:30

Last Monday night some Visions folks did compline for a chaplains conference over at St Johns college in York.
As the text we were given two beatitudes, "happy are the poor in spirit" and "happy are those who mourn".
So, for the creative prayer activity I scattered lots of broken, unwanted and useless things around. Old circuit boards,
and bits and pieces from our recycling box. Cans, bottles, crisp packets etc.

I was slightly worried at the start of the service that the whole thing looked a bit messy really. There was a pile of rubbish at the front of the church (even though there was supposed to be a pile of rubbish scattered at the front of the church!) The instructions on the slide, when the time came to pray, said this...
"There are various pieces of “rubbish” scattered around...Broken things and empty things.
If you wish to, light one of the candles on or in these items as a prayer
for someone who is feeling empty, broken or unwanted at the moment. "

We had tealights placed on or in the cans, and tealights in holders, placed on the more flammable, or melt-able items such as crisp packets etc which people could light as their prayer.

The thing that really struck me though was the transformation. It had been so mundane and ugly. And once the candles were lit it became so beautiful. The rubbish was truly transformed.

The Electic Tealight (someone had to do it!)

2006-06-17T12:01:00.000+03:30

Well sooner or later it had to happen. The advent of the electic tealight! And Habitat have come up with the goods.
They're quite sweet really in a funny sort of way. But they don't come cheap at over a pound each. (I think I saw 3 for 3.50 in the shop, but the online store seems to sell them in sixes) Anyway,they do at least come in a choice of colours, fit ordinary tealight stands, and the batteries are replaceable. And I suppse they have the added bonus that they don't burn your house down. LOL
Sorry I cant post a direct link due to the way the Habitat site is structured, but go to Habitat.net and check out 979695 TEE

Musical Discoveries

2006-04-03T15:23:00.000+03:30

Lately I've been looking out for some new tunes and made a couple of discoveries. A lot of the time, with chillout music or listening techno or whatever, some tracks are good and some you could never use in a million years. Which means that you can't just stick an album on and leave it running without something annoying happening after a while. But I've recently discovered two artists who do such good stuff that you can use most of what they produce. Ulrich Schnauss and Bluetech both do some wonderfully blissful electronic listening music that kind of burbles along in the background in a very inoffensive but nice way. I really really like their stuff! You can have a listen to stuff from both of them on the itunes site, and Ulrich Schnauss also has some free downloads on his own site. Cool tunes!

Sue.

Create Your Own Desert!

2006-03-11T17:08:00.000+03:30

This is a prayer idea that I came up with the other week for the beginning of Lent. I quite liked it, so I'm sharing it with you.
You will need:
Some sandpaper (we cut up big sheets into 6 pieces that you could write on the back of and roll up)
You may also need some stickers to stick onto the back of the sand paper (or paper and pritt) if there is lots
of writing on that side, so that you have space to write your own stuff.
Small rubber bands (we didn't discover this till afterwards) . We tried taping them together but then they come undone...
oops! (which just proves that testing creative prayer ideas first is always a good idea)

These are the instructions we put on the slide.
---------------------------------------------
Lent, like new year, is a time when we can make resolutions.
We can use it as a chance to get closer to God. Like Jesus
did when he was in the desert.

If you wish, think of something you might like to do this Lent.
Spending more time with God?
Taking up some new practice? Doing something to help someone else?
Taking “time-out” from something you feel is getting in the way?

Then write your resolution or resolutions on the back of the sandpaper.
Roll the paper into a tube, and fasten with a rubber-band to make a kind of sculpture.
Put your initials somewhere on the outside so you can recognise yours later.
Then place near the communion table as a sign that you are offering that thing to God.

At the end of the service you can collect your desert sculpture and take it home
to place somewhere as a reminder to yourself of your resolutions.

Completely brilliant projector stand idea!

2006-02-19T19:52:00.000+03:30

I discovered a new idea that I really like the other day. We were doing the Visuals for the XL and XS youth events in York minster when I was after a stand to put our video projector on. All ours were in use in other places in the building. Anyway, Phil then offered me his stands. They are completely brilliant!

Basically he has taken his old Bose speaker Stands, which are about 2 metres high, and cut two pieces of chipboard with bolts in to bolt onto the top of the stand to make a solid shelf. What he has ended up with is a really high stand, which is tall enough to be well out of the way of anyone's head, which is incredibly easy to transport as it folds up like an umbrella. What a completely brilliant idea (I want one! I really really want one!)

Sue.

Simeon's Story.

2006-02-06T17:26:00.000+03:30

This is adapted from a piece called "waiting" which appeared in Multi-Sensory Church. In the "waiting" piece I compared Simeon's wait to Daniel's wait, but it was a bit shorter than this. Since going to Jerusalem, and seeing reconstructions of what the temple looked like, and visiting the mount myself I felt more able to fill in the details that had been missing in the earlier work. So here follows Simeon's story, based on Luke 2:22-40 with a bit more descriptive detail than in the past!

Simeon's Story.
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I've waited. I can't tell you exactly how long. The days ran into months and the months ran into years. And as for the years, well, there were many of them. I have seen many a winter turn into a spring, and a spring turn into a baking summer. And yet I still wait.

Waiting is hard.
Waiting for something when you don't even know when its coming is even harder. And waiting for a promise that some people think is ridiculous; when people stare at you strangely when you mention it, or laugh in your face, is the hardest thing of all. Yet still I wait, and hold onto the promise that I was given.

Shall I tell you my story? It all began such a long time ago. My name is Simeon, and one night, when I was young, something incredible happened, somehow, in a way I cannot really explain, God touched me. It was like suddenly having the lights switched on in your life, after an eternity of groping around in the darkness. It was like the coming of the dawn. It was like suddenly falling in love. It was like...well it was like a thousand birthdays rolled into one. But that night God gave me a promise.

The promise was that I would not die before I saw the Messiah, the Christ himself, in the flesh. Which meant, of course, that it must be soon. That our liberation was coming soon. For how long could I live for?
Ten, twenty, thirty years? Fourty? Fifty? Not many of us got much further than that. But I was young. I couldn't imagine what it would like to even be twenty-five. And I was full of the excitement of a promise newly-given. Each morning after that I awoke and sprang out of bed full of excitement, wondering if this was the day;

But since then it has been hard. I soon gave up springing out of bed, as each evening came, filled with disappointment and impatience. Now I have lived a whole lifetime longing to see the promise come true. I had my fiftieth brithday an age ago. Practically half a lifetime. All my friends have gone, and I am alone in my waiting. Sometimes wondering if I must have dreamed it but knowing, deep down inside, that I must continue my search, continue my waiting. When I climb up the many stairs, with my knees shouting and complaining, to the temple I scan every face, to look for the One I long to see, but somehow I know they won't be there. For over time I have realised, after a lot of thinking and crying and screaming with impatience, that I will probably know where to look before I even turn my head.

And so we come to this morning. Today I have an inexplicable longing to visit the temple. It's almost like an invisible string is pulling me. And I do wonder if today really is the day, I am getting so old now that I cannot really imagine going on much longer. Soon I won't be able to make it up the stairs at all. They will have to carry me there! I throw on my coat, perhaps over-hastily for my age, and make the journey across the city and up the hill to the temple courts.

I arrive at the temple. Vast, colonnades and open space, column and columns and far too many stairs. I see hustle and bustle, shouting, singing, and excitement. Yet I feel compelled to go up a different staircase to my usual one. And in the fresh morning air and dappled sunshine the queues are already long for the sacrifices, couples queing in the cold morning shadows.

There are many young boys being dedicated to God today. But then as I glance at a couple standing at the front of the line with a young baby, something happens to me. I cannot stop staring at them, and I feel almost as if, at that moment, time has stopped. The rest of the world almost doesn't exist. I move over to them, as fast as my old legs can carry me, more like a hobble than a run, and I ask if I can hold the child in my arms. His mother is so young, but she smiles at me proudly and gives me her baby. I pull the blankets away from his face and stare down. And I know. Deep down, in the core of my being. I know that this IS the Christ, and my wait is over.

I hold the child, and he gurgles and dribbles on my clothes helplessly. Yet in that gesture I sense some incredible mystery. Something like the power of God is in him, but he is helpless because he chooses to be. I lift him high into the air, throw back my head and laugh, and in my laughter a prayer comes out.

"Now you can let me, your servant, go home in peace,
Just like you promised me so long ago.
For my very own eyes have seen your marvellous scheme.
Salvation itself,
Held in the tiny fingers of a baby's hand.
The plans you have made in public
For the whole world to see.
A light that will shine
Before the strangers in far off lands.
And give fame and honour to your people,
Your precious nation of Israel."

I see his mother's eyes grow wide with wonder and her husband smile proudly and hold her close. And, as I give the baby back, I turn and bless them, but warn the mother that she has heartbreak ahead. For that child will strip away the secrecy from many people's hearts and they will not like being exposed. A day will come when she will feel stabbed to the heart. And I wish it were not so, but some things just have to happen.

Finally I say my goodbyes and sit and simply watch the world go by.
But one particular part of the world. I watch the young couple give the offerings to the priest. I watch the propetess Anna, singing praises to God over them, as if they were prophets or kings and I simly smile.Then I watch them walk away from the temple, disappearing through the archway, I watch them until they are small dots down at the bottom of the staircase, and as they disappear and merge with the crowds below, I know that I can finally rest. The Christ has come. The Christ has merged with us, become part of our crowds, and now I can let go, knowing the promise has come true, and all the other promises will soon come true as well.

Epiphany - The Story of a King.

2006-01-09T18:07:00.000+03:30

We used this story at our intimate Christmas Eve Communion....enjoy!
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Now imagine. Imagine that you are a traveller. You have come a very long way. All the way from Africa, carrying a small quantity of precious, fragrant burning resin. You have ridden for hundreds of miles on horseback till your thighs are aching and sore, you have travelled on foot too, till your back aches and your feet throb. Sometimes the territory was a little too forbidding or a little too steep to stay mounted. You are now in a strange country, and here it is night, and the nights are cold.

For as you began to climb higher into the hills, the temperature began to drop. It feels like you are on the roof of the world here and although it is pleasantly hot at noon, at night it is much colder than you have ever known it. There is frost on the ground. You have heard tales of this white powder that covers the sand where the dew has dropped, but noone has ever told you what it felt like before.
-how it bites at your fingers,
- how the cold wind cuts into your face.
- how your knees ache with the cold in the middle of the night with only a flimsy tent to protect you.

You wrap your thick, woolen travelling cloak tighter around you and you look for the place you are searching for. You feel scared and lost. Very lost. Although you have travelling companions and a servant nearby, you know how vulnerable you are in a strange place, with different customs, and this place is under military rule. Armies have been marching past you at regular intervals on the journey.

You hear jeers and shouts from cohorts of passing troops at times, and
the fear is always at the back of you and your companions minds. What if they turned on us? We could never fight against them, there are too many of them. But so far, they never have turned on you. Their commanding officers reigned them in, and told them to march faster. They disappeared over the horizon, the soles of their boots drumming rhythmically into the road.

The fear stayed, deep-down though. And the despair too and the tiny voice inside telling you that you must be crazy for leaving everything you know behind you, just to search.

Because you *are* searching - looking for a new born king. Looking for some answers in life too.
Yet the obvious place to look for a king is in a palace .

But the only palace near this place had no children crying in it. It contained only a bad tempered ruler, who you were afraid would
murder you on the spot, and a few local priests of the ancient and complex religion they follow in these parts. These holy-men directed you six miles to the South. But you aren’t really sure who you can trust. The king who asks you to report back to him with the cold-steel of a threat in his voice, or the priests who consult their ancient scriptures and give the name of a tiny hamlet miles away from anywhere important.

Your confusion mounts... and the black pit of fear in your stomach.
Was this long journey all for nothing?

And now you reach the village. Someone has scrawled the name of the place on a wooden post near a watering trough. The place is riddled with caves, like a giant anthill. And you begin to wonder where on earth you should be looking next. But then you gaze into the sky, and as you gaze the starlight seems to crystallize through the freezing air, pointing the way to one cave in particular, with an old family home leaning crookedly against it, like the cave has become the spare room or the granny flat for the unwanted guests and the pet goat.

It is about as far removed from a palace as you could wish. Deeply deeply ordinary. Yet something inside you makes you want to look further. You lift the latch. And smell, not goat dung, but something animal all the same, a cow, and the remains of whatever the cow had for breakfast. The ripe smell makes you cover your face at first.

But then you look around. And see a scrubbed corner. And in the scrubbed corner a woman is lying on a pile of staw. She is pale, as if she has been bleeding. She looks as if she has recently been through a great ordeal. And then you see the man. He is much older than her, and he is busy propping the woman up with piles of straw and trying to persuade her to drink some wine from a goatskin he is holding.

You hail him in your native tongue. He looks puzzled. You remember just how far you are from home so you try again, this time in the rough traders Greek you have picked up over the years. This time he replies, falteringly, trying to find some words. “Hail stranger, come in.”

You ask. “I have come from far away. I am looking for a baby king.”

He points to a feeding trough, which puzzles you at first. Perhaps he is offering food for the horses. Then you peer inside and you are shocked.
A baby. He is lying, newborn by the looks of him, too purple and wrinked to be any older than a few hours, tiny and fragile, wrapped in bands of cloth that are wound around and around, as the Egyptians do with their princes before they bury them. You stare straight into the baby’s eyes, and the baby seems to stare at you, in an unfocused kind of way. You move closer, so you can see each other more clearly. You feel moved to talk to this child. What do you say? ........................................................

Then the baby seems to want to communicate back. Not in speech, for he has no speech as yet, but in the way that he looks, his position. His eyes bore a message into your soul.
What does he seem to be saying to you...........

And now you feel compelled to give the child a gift. You have brought frankinsence from your home country for him, but you also want to give him something else. What gift do you want to give him now, a personal gift between you and him that noone else can see.................

Your companions come in too. They also pay their respects and give their gifts, and then you leave, after a brief conversation, filled with the halting phrases provided by the language barrier and both your lack of vocab. You are aware that something tremendously important has passed, but you are also aware that it will take time to process this. You sit and think for a while, about what this can all mean, about the next step.....

And then you hear singing, strange, ghostly music, that seems to come from the clouds and the frosty air itself. It sounds like the cross between a song of joy and a lullaby.

carolcover

2005-12-09T14:59:00.000+03:30

carolcover
Originally uploaded by Suevisions.

Five carols for Five pounds (well 5.40 by the time we've added postage and a nice bubblewrap envelope)
but then actually you get ten tracks as we added the backing tracks too.

Our new carols CD arrived this morning. I'm really pleased with it. And all proceeds from sales go to sending our students to Palestine. As you might guess they are not your standard carols backings. Bethlehem has gone a bit trip hop/two-step/mellow trance. (but the angels seem to like it!)

Check out some of the tracks on my soundclick site or order them from the
Visions Shop

Our New CD rom

2005-11-15T17:26:00.000+03:30

Our New CD rom
Originally uploaded by Suevisions.

Excitement! We now have a Visions CDrom with 50 video loops on it. Yes 50, saved as Quicktime files which is how we've squished so many on so little a disc.(but you can change the format if you wish to any other format that is more convient for you). There are confession loops, absolution loops, stuff to play during communion, Christmas images and Pentecost and Trinity ones. Price is 12 pounds including postage or 13.50 if you are not in the UK. Money raised will go towards our fundraising for our trip to Palestine over Christmas so that people on low incomes don't miss out. Please tell your friends/neighbours/church contacts. And even if you don't know what to do with it, it will make a lovely colourful coaster to stick your coffee on!

You can order it from video or shop pages of the Visions website http://www.visions-york.org

An A to Z of Alternative Worship

2005-09-02T14:59:00.000+04:30

An A to Z of alternative worship.

I've been playing with the idea of an A to Z of alternative worship, to help describe what its all about.
I think this one sums it up fairly well.

A = ambience

Ambience is important. Making the worship space warm and welcoming.
Ambient music can be pretty helpful in that task too, as can gentle lighting,
(tealights almost ended up being the T here) and rugs. Which leads me to

B = Beanbags.

Or even sofas. People shouldn’t have to sit on uncomfortable chairs or even more uncomfortable pews.

C = community

Church isn’t about being an island. It is about community, and teamwork. Batting ideas around with other people, praying with them, and crying on each others shoulders when life gets tough.

D = dreaming

Its important to dream crazy dreams about the way things could be. And then work out how to make those dreams possible. Its how we imagine a better world. Or in Christian terms how we “seek the Kingdom”

E = experiential

Worship should be an “experience” . The most wonderful experience ever. Well at least that’s what we’re aiming for.

F = friendly

The worship space needs to be a friendly, safe space. For everyone. Which means being sensitive to the hurting, and not a platform for people’s prejudices. Jesus made a habit of being welcoming to those everyone else wanted to ignore.

G = graceful

There is something wonderful about a worship service which has “flow”. Where
your prayers sprout wings and go somewhere wonderful, in contast to a “strained’ worship service which is desperately trying to be “trendy” in a shallow way and bumps around with no space for prayer. (I’ve done those ones too, but not intentionally!)

H = honest

Honesty in worship is important. Its OK to ask questions. Its OK to bring our doubts, fears, angst and anger to God in prayer.

I = images

A picture speaks a thousand words they say. The Word was made flesh and was visible. Sometimes talking in pictures can be the best thing we can do.

J = junk

There is something amazing about taking bits of junk and turning them into
something beautiful for God.

K = kleptomania

Alternative worship “steals” all the time. Borrowing concepts and ideas, songs and visual ideas from the world outside, but then baptising and subverting those ideas.
Then we can never see them in quite the same way again.

L = labyrinths

The prayer-journey or labyrinth is a very meaningful thing. The idea of pilgrimage, and of time and space spent actvely trying to follow in Christ’s footsteps. Its somethign we have found really helpful.

M = multi-sensory

Good alterntive worship involves all the senses, not just sound, but touch, taste and smell too.

N = nameless

In a way this is linked to community. It is also linked to a concept we talk about but don’t always do.ie. “Glory to God”. When we plan as a community, and make a joint act of worship, there shouldn’t be one “big-name” that gets the credit, just the Eternal Name.

O = Orthodox

The environment might look different, the music might be more electronic, but
the theology is Orthodox. We believe what Christians throughout the ages have believed. “In One God, Father Son and Spirit.” In everyhtign the ancient creeds said. We pray, we worship we listen to God speaking to us, through the bible, through each other, through the “still small voice” in our hearts.

P = play

Alternative worship tries not to get *too* serious. We follow a man who said “ Unless you become like little children, you’ll never get into the Kingdom of Heaven”. Its Ok to play sometimes!

Q = quality

We aim to try as best as we can to create something of quality, of value. It isn’t always possible to be perfect, but we don’t want to create something slipshod and messy either. (well, not unless we’re working with clay...which is very messy!)

R = ritual

Sometimes the thing that speaks loudest is an action. A prayerful action the most classic of which s lighting a candle, but there are many more.

S = Sacramental

Outward signs of the inward hug that God is giving us, are immensely powerful.
Not just the “official” ones, involving bread and wine, or oil or water. But the unofficial ones too. Such as the sacrament of the smile.

T = technological

We tend to use whatever resources we have to hand to give to God, including technology. Yes, you’ll often find a lot of it in alternative worship, but if that’s all you find then there’s something wrong.

U = under construction

We don’t feel we have all the answers to the perfect worship service. Everything is temporary, is under construction. One day it’l all be perfect but we’ll have to wait for that one.

V = video

St Francis said “preach the gospel at all times” if necessary, use words. Video is one of the ways of not having to use words. If a picture paints a thousand words and there are 25 frames every second then that is 1500,000 words every minute. Powerful stuff!

W = wondering

There should always be space for watching and wondering. What if? How? Why? Who? Its at those times that God speaks to us and inspires us.

X = x ray-ing

Sometimes, as with X rays. Its good to dig beneath the surface. Alternative worship seems pretty good at this. Looking at a well known bible passage and digging beneath it to see things that we had never spotted before. That fringe character there. What was the effect of all this on them? That person there. How did they *really* feel?

Y = yearning

Yearning restlessness will always be there. We have so much, and yet we are still pilgrims. We have not yet made it to the Promised Land. The yearning helps spur us on, further on the road.

Z = zest

That zest for life,that spice, that playfullnes, that fun, is still there, in alternative worship. And over the last ten years, I’ve seen that spice spread to bring a little zest and creativity to more traditional forms of worship too. Long may it last!

small ideas are the best!

2005-08-31T01:27:00.000+04:30

This weekend I had what I think is probably one of my best brainwaves ever! Its not big, or expensive (or even technological!)
but sometimes small ideas are the best. I've just come back from Greenbelt where we were doing two services. Now we never
have any shortage of helpers at Greenbelt, but not all of them are experienced at helping, and as the environment is different
jobs are different to our home church. In the past I have ended up feeling a little stressed during set-up because everyone descends on me, asking what to do and before I have a chance to explain one job, someone else interrupts with a request for another.

It turns out the solution is very simple. Just write simple instuctions for all the jobs needed for a particular service/meeting/whatever on a piece of paper. Cut it up into strips so there is one job per strip. Then just place somewhere central and let people pick the jobs they want to do. When they're finished they can scrumple the paper up and pick another.

Much easier (and it really reduces stress levels when preparing for important events!)

ipod service gadget

2005-08-13T17:36:00.000+04:30

I feel a bit like I've been very dense really! Last year I got myself an iPod mini thinking that I could use it to DJ off for services.
(well that's my justification for it anyway :-) I keep burning CDs with just one song on for a specific service, which is pretty wasteful really. I know I *could* use rewritable CDs but we've never had much luck with them as they can be very cranky). Anyway I've never been that happy sound-wise with the results of running a line from the headphone socket of the iPod. Well, one day I got around to investigating it properly on the web, and it turns out the solution is very simple. The pocket-dock lineout, is a tiny little gadget that gives a proper line out from the bottom iPod mini (or any other iPod for that matter). Problem solved!

GIMP

2005-08-11T16:48:00.000+04:30

While I'm giving plugs to some good pieces of technology I thought it was about time I gave a plug to the GIMP.
(The Gnu Image Manipulation Program). Its a fantastic piece of software which works on Linux, Mac and (although
with less gadgets) PC too. You can wrap images around a globe, spin it, and save as an animated gif, manipulate layers and channels just as in photoshop, and do some very cool distortions. The best way to learn how to use it is just by
"playing" with it really. Oh, and best of all, its completely free! Check out the GIMP site

Heaven

2005-07-27T21:23:00.000+04:30

Thought I'd post this here rather than on the Visions site, as it provoked some interesting discussions in the pub.
( I can hardly say Visions are all behind it) Although we discussed the concepts at the planning meeting, we had some interesting discussions post-service as to whether Heaven is a democracy or not (I stand by what I said, in context) and whether it is a nation-state or not. (I think it is, so there! Its a Kingdom, they are generally regarded as nation states). But then a little controversy to shake people out of the populist clouds and harps mentality is no bad thing I recon.

Voice 1 - Heaven is like a mustard seed. A tiny thing which when planted grows enormous. So big that people fly for miles to live there.

Voice 2 - Heaven is not like a nightclub with a restricted guestlist and room for only a few hundred packed in like sardines.

Voice 2 - Heaven is like yeast that a cook took and mixed with flour. It was so contagious that all the dough rose in less than an hour.

Voice 1 - Heaven is not like a really long church service with hard pews and your least-favourite hymns or a party by an unpopular person that noone would want to come to.

Voice 1 - Heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, something so fantastic that its worth selling everythig else to get it.

Voice 2 - Heaven is not like a mouldy old pot hidden in a field which some historian says is valuable but you’re really not convinced. Or a really overpriced Christmas present ....that you didnt really like, but had to smile when you recieved it.

Voice 2 - Heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls. He spots the “big one” that’ll keep him in cash for the rest of his life, and knows its worth trading all his old stock to get it.

Voice 1 - Heaven is not a like a merchant who has fine pearls and only sells them to the “right” people who wear designer clothes, speak with the right accents and carry platinum cards.

Voice 1 - Heaven is like a net that is thrown into the sea and catches fish of every kind. Even the weird looking ones with big teeth that noone would really want to eat and couldn’t possibly get in (could they?)
When they got the catch in they sorted out the good and bad fish. Funny that, some of the scary looking ones stayed and some really quite respectable looking fish got thrown out.

Voice 2 - Heaven is like a high-interest bank account. You can store up treasure there. You can make a deposit by selling stuff and giving the money to poor people and by being insulted and persecuted and having people say bad stuff about you because you happen to follow Jesus Christ.

Voice 2- Heaven is not like the sort of bank where you have to have references, copies of your birth certificate and proof of address and where they deny you entry based on your previous credit-rating.

Voice 1 - Heaven is a place where the down-to-earth childlike people are the important ones. Its a place you can’t get into if your head is too big and you refuse to shrink it.

Heaven is not an idea or a made-up place, a carrot to entice people to be good or a dream to make death less sad, as Hell is not a nightmare to frighten naughty children.

Heaven is like a big wedding-party. Loads of people get invites but some people just don’t want to come, so they send out folks to scour the streets and grab anyone who fancies coming. Do you want to come? I hear the food is great.

Heaven is not a car park, where you just sit and sit for ages and ages not doing anything because you are dead. In fact if you want to stay dead you generally avoid the place as Heaven is a place of never-ending life.

The Kingdom of Heaven is near. You don’t have to travel miles and miles to get there. You don’t even have to die to get there, because it is a place of growth. It is growing within you, within us, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

The Kingdom of Heaven is not stifling stagnation. It is not hate, it is not evil. Heaven is not like a fluffy cloud, a Philadelphia cheese advert, an endless expanse of nirvana-like nothing, a floaty polite thought, a place where everyone wears their nightie all day, Heaven is not disembodied or a-polittical.

Heaven is a kingdom. A political nation-state with a real flesh-and-blood political ruler, whose manifesto contains policies such as “Love one another” . It is also, contrary to popular opinion, a demoncracy in at least one sense. For you have to choose to vote "yes" to the ruler to enter. The government does not violently force itself on you. You may vote "no" if you wish and go elsewhere, but elsewhere isn’t much fun.

More discoveries...Garage Band.

2005-07-23T18:17:00.000+04:30

My other recent discovery has been Garage Band. For years I've been using Cubase to write songs, which has worked very well.
I also have a collection of MIDI boxes and old synths together in my office, connected with lots of spaghetti, but gradually they are dying. My Emu sampler has died. I'm not too sad though, as the best thing about it was the 909 drum samples I took from my friend Paul. My Cheetah cool bass noises box went a couple of years ago, and, although I love my CS1X its a complete pain to program, and I just felt like I needed some new sounds.

That, combined with the fact that I had garage band on my Mac anyway (its free, as it comes with the machine) led me to explore it! Actually I'm pretty impressed. I can't believe a piece of software that is free can do so much. So, instead of splashing out on another MIDI box, I've bought the analogue soft-synths pack for Garage Band and the Jam Pack 2. Tasty! Now I have my cool bass noises back, and my 909 and am hoping this will lead the Abbess into new realms of creativity. Its certainly worked this week. I wrote 3 hymn remixes in one day (but then I did have a deadline because of the wedding which helped!)

If you want to check out my past compositions go to.
http://www.soundclick.com/abbess
Abbess is my band name by the way.

Arkaos (I love it!)

2005-07-22T22:03:00.000+04:30

Sorry I've not been posting much lately. I've been busy doing lots of stuff for Naomi's wedding (the full multimedia Visions works!) and at the same time trying to write 6000 words on the synod of Whitby for college. Anyway, in between all that frantic activity, I have been making some discoveries. We were asked to do visuals at a recent youth event, and, as not many of us were available (and it was the day before the make poverty history march in Edinburgh) I didn't want to take all our equipment with me. So I downloaded the trial version of Arkaos and just went with a laptop and projector. I am impressed! Its not so good at actual "mixing" as you have to define the transparency parameters of each clip beforehand, rather than mix on the fly. But it is so great at dance stuff, as you have lots of choice of effects including tunnels, cubes, bubbles, filmstrips floating up the wall etc to spice up even relatively simple video clips, and "playing" in real time is really easy. The downside is that playing with Arkaos for three hours gave me some strange dreams of walking up the high street which suddenly wrapped itself around a spinning cube!

The other good thing about the software from a church perspective is that you can buy 6 licenses for the price of 1 and a 1/2
so that your whole church-video-team can have it, play on it and learn to use it. It works on Macs and PCs too.

If you want to check out the software for yourself this is the URL of the Arkaos site.
http://www.arkaos.net/

I'm in Seattle

2005-05-31T05:16:00.001+04:30

I'm in Seattle at the moment for three weeks, and rather than filling up this blog with Seattle stuff (as I'd like to keep it for my creative worship ideas) I've done a separate seattle blog at http://www.sueinseattle.blogspot.com. Better than postcards!

Thomas

2005-04-07T22:33:00.000+04:30

Last Sunday's bible reading was about Thomas, his doubts, and Jesus showing him his scars. Our team designed a prayer
idea based on this. These words were up on the wall....
Show me your scars
I have shown you mine
I have let you touch them
Tell me where it still hurts
The scar from long ago
Or the more recent wound
Let me see *your* hands
Let me see inside your side
Into your heartbreak
Into your memories
Let me heal your pain.
Then we invited everyone who wished to, to take a piece of paper and a pencil and write their scars and hurts as a prayer. When they'd finished the prayer we asked them to fold the paper and place at the bottom of a small plant-pot, putting soil on top of it, and then planting a pea seed over it. We then asked everyone who had done one, to take it home in a freezer bag (so the soil didn't spill) and as they watered their pea seed every day, to pray for the other people's scars and hurts.

Peas grow quite quickly, so hopefully there will be little green shoots of hope and new life popping up soon in the plant pots!

More Songs

2005-03-23T23:22:00.000+04:30

I've been in the studio again this week. I finally got around to writing the backing track for a song that I wrote at least 5 years ago. Plus I've done a trip hop (ish) remix of abide with me. You know how the verses go...but we've added the following rap segments between them.
V1
Live with me Lord in my heartbreak and my pain.
When I need a good friend
Hold me close and keep me sane
When the lights have gone out
And there’s darkness all around
Come step into my life
I’m so lost, help me get found.
V2
Yes there’s change and decay
And the leaves fall off the trees
And the dreams that I had
Seem to all get up and leave.
And the young all get old
And the old get sick and die
And I miss how things were
And sometimes it makes me cry.
V3
What occurs to me now
As I’ve seen too many graves
Is that death’s done quite well
In the great plans that You made
But I hold to the hope
And the promise that You gave
That we will live again
And we will rise from the grave.

Stones

2005-03-16T13:43:00.000+03:30

The other Visions team did the service on Sunday, and I was pretty impressed by their prayer idea.
The theme was the raising of Lazarus, When the other team planned the service they said they felt Jesus had been misunderstood as he waited rather than going straight to his friend. We were invited to write hidden things that we didn't always want to reveal for fear of being misunderstood (or more global misunderstandings ie political situations) on a sticker and hide it under a stone. But the instruction was given that later everyone would get to see these things, even if they ended up being fairly anonymous. Later - "no stone was left unturned' as we randomly chose a stone and prayed for the situation or person who had written something under that stone, and when we replaced the stone, we had it turned upwards. The stones ended up being pretty profound and revealing! Definitely a very cool way of praying for each other!

Textures

2005-03-08T22:58:00.000+03:30

Ages ago someone sent me a link to a textures site with high resolution images that are free to download. I finally got around to looking at them yesterday. There are some really good ones on there! I really liked the cloudscapes and the doors. Anyway here's the link if you want to check them out for yourself.
http://www.mayang.com/textures/

The 80's revisited

2005-03-08T02:40:00.000+03:30

On Sunday I dug up and old tune that I hadn't used for years, Tower of Strength by the Mission. I realised that the main reason I hadn't used it for years was because in the mid 90s it sounded so dated, yet now, with the goth revival it
sounds surprisingly fresh once more. The other reason I hadn't used it though, was because I'd never got round to buying
it myself. Then I found it up on the iTunes site. That's the best thing about that site. If you want one song for a worship service you don't have to go to the hassle of buying a whole album! Another 80s classic I bought recently from iTunes (remixed this time) was the Timo Maas instrumental mix of Enjoy the Silence. Nice stuff. I'm sure we could do some liturgy or a reading or something over it!

I leave you with the first verse of Tower of Strength. (just to show you why I like it!)

You raise me up
When I'm on the floor
You see me through
When I'm lonely and scared
And I'm feeling true to the written word
And you're true to me.
But still I need more.
It would tear me apart
To feel noone ever cared
For me for me for me.
You are a tower of strength to me.

Praxis Day

2005-03-06T09:10:00.000+03:30

Yesterday I went to a Praxis day on alternative worship and emerging church, which was conveniently held at St Cuthbert's.
It was great to catch up with Jonny Baker and Paul Roberts there, and to meet Nick Mercer. His presentation on postmodernism was great with a compelling mix of quotes on the screen, music by Leftfield and some profound insights into what is going on culturally. Malc, Sophs and I did a half hour worship slot, as part of the day at lunchtime, and I did a meditation on the temptations in the desert as part of this, linking it to where we are at as a church in these changing times.

This Desert Planet.

Voice 1 - In those days Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptised by John in the Jordan.
And the Spirit immediately drove him out into the wilderness.
Voice 2 - A desert planet....
Once we stood by the clear waters, knowing who we were, who the church was and where we were going....
...now we’re in the desert....
...uncharted territory.
...severe and bleak.
...but full of Eastern promise.
...the rules are different.
The old ways don’t work.
...it is a lonely place,
and dangerous.
There are snakes and scorpions.
Alien creatures.
we have been stripped of our illusions
of growth...
of plenty...
and we are in the desert.
waiting...
for God to speak.
Voice 1 - Turn these stones into bread.
Voice 2 - the instant solution.
the quick fix. If we just..if we just...
change our chairs, change our prayers, fix the roof.
Then everything will be lovely.
Won’t it?
Voice 1 - The tempter said. Go on. Turn these stones into bread
Voice 2 - bread. like the bread used to be, in the old days...
in a warm hearth in Nazareth.
It was so good then. I can almost smell the yeast.
A quick-fix and they’ll all come back.
Voice 1 - But it is written. You can’t live by bread alone.
Voice 2 - We need more than that. In this desert planet.
Voice 1 - Every word that comes from the mouth of God.
Living God, we need you here, to tell us what to do.
Feed us with your words, we are hungry!
Show us the next step. How to be your church in this
undiscovered world.
As we sit in the sand and try to hear you.
Voice 1 - And the tempter said. Look. Here are all the kingdoms of the world. I’ll give you all of this. If you just worship me.
Voice 2 - Yes. Maybe that would be easier.
Maybe we should give up. And join the others.
Worship at (insert name of shop) , religiously.
Or (insert musician), or (insert computer giant), or (insert bank),
I believe in the Holy Catalog Church.
Voice 1 - You can have it all. Worship me.
Voice 2 - Everything we’ve ever wanted.
At a price. But that price would be too high.
Voice 1 - Worship the Lord your God, and serve only Him.
Voice 2 - Who else can we turn to.
You’re the one who gives us life.
And though we may we walking in the wilderness.
You are here with us.
Let us glimpse a burning bush somewhere on the way.
This is a lonely planet.
Voice 1 - He will command his angels. They’ll protect you. You needn’t even stub your toes.
Voice 2 - Our attendance is plummeting but we needn’t fear
the angels will catch us.
Someone else will fix it. We’ll leave it up to them.
An evangelist with a funny name, or the parish next-door.
This desert is too difficult. So maybe I’ll just sleep.
Voice 1 - Jesus answered the tempter. Do not put the Lord your God to the test.
Voice 2 - Jesus Help us.
Its hard to find the energy. When the sand pushes against us.
When we stumble in the wilderness. When we can’t see the way.
When the old signposts have disappeared
And all we have are sand-dunes.
But we know...
We can’t do a quick-fix
We can’t give up
We can’t leave it to someone else.
Voice 1 - Then Jesus, filled with the power of the Spirit returned.
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me.
Because he has anointed me.
To bring good news to the poor.
Voice 2 - Good news came from out of the desert.
There is good news.
God has brought us here to hear it.
And God will lead us
To the Promised Land.

CTBI week

2005-02-26T08:30:00.000+03:30

Had a really interesting week in Swanwick at a CTBI gathering. I was running a labyrinth there with some installations on the life of Jesus in the prayer zone. Sorry I never brought a camera with me, so can't show you pictures. But the prayer rooms looked brilliant and I really enjoyed the worship stuff which was organised by Alison Adam which had an Iona feel to it, and which was atmospheric and interactive in many ways. I felt surprisingly at home really. The food at Swanwick is utterly brilliant (in fact I daren't weigh myself now!) and I very much enjoyed meeting lots of leaders from different churches.Anyway while I was there I noticed that in the chapel they had lots and lots of tiles for tealights. Tealights, though lovely, can be a bit of a pain from the fire hazard point of view, as they get very hot underneath and I have known of people setting fire to wooden tables by leaving them for a while. Its impressive to watch!! Anyway these ordinary bathroom tiles seemed a great solution to the problem, and they can be tesselated any way you choose. Into a cross, a labyrinth, or any other shape you wish, and easily removed afterwards. Cool!